My neighbors gave my mom and me a wonderful luncheon yesterday. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such kind people. These are the same friends who bring over meals.
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I was featured in a college textbook called Literature and the Child (7th Edition) for something I did with my middle school students. That was exciting to see.

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More chemo tomorrow.
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"By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." 2 Peter 1:3 (NLT)

great people

Our nanny Sara took the kids to the zoo yesterday. I'm sure they had a fun time.
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Due to some headaches, I had an MRI yesterday. We should get the results back today.

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My friend Shawn is such sweetheart. She hung out with me last night while my husband was working and my mom took the kids to track.
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My neighbors continue to be wonderful. Last night no only did someone make my family a homemade dinner (thanks Kris), but someone else surprised me by planting flowers along the front of my house (they're beautiful Dalia).


Psalm 73:26"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." (KJV)

Cool Quilt

No info about when Cyberknife will occur yet.

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One of my very best friends whom I met while teaching several years ago, made me this quilt. She used T-shirts from our marathons we ran together and other running theme and teaching theme T-shirts. It's her first time making a quilt, and she did an amazing job! Thank you Lanette! You are awesome.

A Three Hour Tour

I thought that when I stopped taking the Xeloda I'd feel better and more energized. Instead I feel the opposite....more tired and in more pain. My head and back have been hurting more, and I need to keep popping Tylenol every few hours. Not sure what that's all about, but I see my oncologist on Friday, and hopefully we'll get some answers then.

Yesterday was quite the interesting day, reminding me how kind people continue to be. Because I lost my keys when I was at McDonald's with my good friend Andrea and our kids, she ended up having to take me on a "3 hour tour" of the Twin Cities in her car. We happened to be driving as a snowstorm was starting and then eventually during rush hour. This combination, along with a few missed turns and the fact that to get my spare keys we had to go to one side of the cities to the other and back, was just insane! We were in the car with 5 kids, and yet they were actually quite good, considering the circumstances of my own 3 hour mistake.

When we were at McDonald's there was a lady there with a couple kids who offered to drive me anywhere, or bring me carseats or help out in anyway. We managed without her help, but I certainly appreciated the offer. There were workers who helped me look through the trash and checked the dumpster as well. Unfortunately, no keys appeared.

But the next day, I received a phone call from CVS. Apparently someone had found my keys, saw my CVS key card and the drug store was able to get my phone number. They called me and gave me the number of the man who had my keys. He worked at the Sprint store near the McDonalds. He told me that he found them on his windshield. Obviously, I dropped them in the parking lot...as it was snowing...and someone must have stumbled on them and put them on the windshield. Thankfully he didn't just toss them aside, and took the time to find out who they belonged to. That was so kind of him.

It turned out to be a very long and crazy day. My mom's flight was delayed, so we just stayed on the west side of town waiting for her plane to come in. I took the 3 kids to Chuck E. Cheese, and as soon as we got there, Ella wet her pants. We had to trek back out into the snow and below zero temps to find a place to buy her new clothes. And then trying to leave the rodent pizza place for a 2nd time was a disaster with Ella not wanting to leave, and me not being able to pick her up. But eventually we made it out, arrived at the airport just in time to pick up my mom, and made it home for the kids bedtime.

What a day. But without the help of my friend and a few strangers, it would have been disastrous!

When the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior ... Titus 3:4-6

A busy week

What a busy week for me.

On Tuesday, I had my bloodcounts checked. My husband thought it would be a good idea to have this done before I continued with my new chemo pill Xeloda . Well, it turns out my Red Blood Cell Count was low. In order to get it back up to a healthy level quickly so that I could continue with my chemo, I had to have a blood transfusion. So that took a few hours out of my day that I did not expect, and I was not prepared for (didn't bring anything that I could do while I lied there. There was a room available however, so I did get to lie down and rest. That was nice.

On Wednesday I was not dealing with any medical appointments. I had gotten a couple of my friends gift cards for pedicures for their birthdays a while back. So we planned a girls' pedi and lunch outing. It was nice to get out and be with my friends. I do miss all the time that I used to hang out with them and our kids. I used to be one of the "social planners" of the group....always finding stuff to do and places to go with our kids. And if someone sent out an e-mail asking if anyone wanted to meet up somewhere with out kiddos, I was usually game for anything. I haven't been able to do that in a long time, and it does make me really sad. Hopefully, now that I can drive, and with the medical appointments tapering off, I'll be able to do more. Wednesday afternoon I picked up my mom at the airport. SHE's BACK......YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On Thursday I had the 2nd half of my blood transfusion. All went fine, and this time I was prepared...with Christmas cards to address. I still have many more to do, but at least I got a start. And, we didn't have any issues with getting the IV in. My veins are SO BAD with all the times they have to access them, that it's rare if someone can draw blood or inject anything in me without having to try a couple times. I'm pretty used to it now, and although everyone is usually very apologetic, most of the time it doesn't even bother me.

Also on Thursday we met with another Oncologist, Dr. Yee. When my husband told me about the appointment, at first I just sighed and said, "Do we really need to go? He's just going to say the same thing that all the other doctors we have consulted with have said." (And let me tell you, there are quite a few doctors we've seen in person, and dozens more that my husband has contacted by phone or e-mail). But Dr Yee is a breast cancer specialist from the University of Minnesota, and I am so glad that my husband set up this appointment. Maybe it was because I've seen so many doctors now I actually could understand most of what Dr. Yee was saying in terms of treatment. But also, he was just very clear, and personable. He spoke directly to me in mostly medical terminology that I understood. And if I didn't know what he was talking about, I was comfortable enough to ask. Dr. Yee was very clear about what treatment plan we should follow and why. And he seemed very positive about things.....where as many other doctors seemed like they were throwing in the towel. I'm sure my last round of tests had something to do with it. All the radiation that my great Dr. Vic had me do killed off a lot of cancer. So Dr. Yee had more to be positive about, but both Melvin and I felt we had a really good and informative visit. I am so glad we went and grateful that God led us to this doctor. He thinks I should have a bone scan, and another lumbar puncture.

Today, I FINALLY got to meet up with my Bible Study group (Mom's Spiritual Spa group). These are the same ladies that I meet when going to play places with our kids (as I wrote about earlier in this post). They've been SUCH a support to me during this time...even though I have not been able to be a very good friend to them. But as I get stronger and stronger and my mind clears more, I hope to be able to be there for them, as much as they've all been there for me.

And physical therapy today....let's just say that I might not be able to walk tomorrow. The therapist had me doing a lot of work on my quads to help me with my strength. I haven't worked my quads like that in a really long time...so I hope I can still walk around the stores and go Christmas shopping this weekend!

But praise God for a good week. It was busy...but overall it's good that I can be busy like this.

Matthew 7:7
Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you.

monday

(No Mommy. I like to pick my nose!)

I almost don't know what to write anymore on this blog because it's just the same thing happening everyday...or at least nothing exciting. So I'll just update.

Made it through the weekend. It was not easy. I did get to church, and that is always one of my goals, so I am very grateful for my family who helped me get there, and then for my friends who hung out with my kids after church. I've been very depressed and jittery and bored and confused and just overall feeling lost and uncomfortable. I hate it. I don't want to feel this way. I want to just close my eyes, wake up from this nightmare and just laugh and laugh and laugh at this crazy dream.

But that's not reality. So I've got to continue to get a grip and grab onto the people around me who continue to enourage and uplift me.....so everyone.

Today I went to physical therapy for my right arm weakness. I have exercises to do each day now. My dad will keep me on top of that. Seems hard to exercise something you can't move!

I want to send out a special THANK YOU to all my former colleages at Crossroads Middle School in New Jeresy. Tony, what a wonderful video you made for me, and I so enjoyed watching it and seeing all of you. You all truly mean so much to me!!!!!!! Thank you.


Psalm 27:14"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."

Thanks.

A very good weekend. Pain controled. Lots of friends. Family visiting. Plenty of help. Benefit went very well. Much encouragement. Went to church. Relaxing and hanging out. Humbled by everyone. I'm very thankful.

Gotta love your girfriends.

Nine women God brought together.

Hanging out in a large studio for the weekend.

At the Wisconsin Dells.

What a wonderful time.

But I'm a bit exhausted. No details now. Gonna get in a little nap.

A little creepy looking

I started brain radiation last week. Despite the new findings of cancer in the spine, our original plan of action won't change. I will first have whole brain radiation for about 24 days. The new course of action involves some sort of chemotherapy to treat the spine. My oncologist is still deciding what kind of chemo. And discussion has taken place on whether I start chemo at the same time I am doing radiation. Currently the answer is no. If I did start chemo now, the dose would be lower to keep it safe in conjunction with the radiation. This may not be as effective. But if I don't start the chemo now, will the cancer spread? We haven't decided exactly what to do about this.

Above is a picture of some guy (not me) set up for radiation. Yes, I have to wear that weird plastic mesh face mask which is used to bolt me to the table. It reminds me of spiderman, and isn't the most comfortable thing, but radiation only lasts a few minutes, so it's no big deal.

The headaches and other pain still continue, which makes it hard to plan anything, because I'm not sure how I'm going to be feeling. Last week I missed a few informal gatherings with friends because of pain or sleeping. On Monday, I've had to cancel hanging out with one of my friends. And today I had to cancel an appointment. When I'm not at the doctor's, I'm doing a lot of sleeping. So when people ask to get together with me, I'm a little reluctant to do so. I'm supposed to go to Wisconsin Dells this weekend for a girls' weekend away...9 of us have been planning to hang out together in one large studio. I pray I get this pain under control because I REALLY want to go!

Tomorrow I have an MRI in the morning. It will last a couple hours. NOT looking forward to that. I think they're scanning my brain and some of my spine again. My doctor said that he doesn't expect to find anything. I told him NOT to say that, because every time a doctor has said that, they've found something. I hope to be able to squeeze a nap in before heading to my radiation appointment....ha ha...get it..."heading" to my head radiation. . And most importantly, I'd like to get to the salon or some place where they do waxing. All these steroids I've had to take are causing me to grow a beard. I feel like I'm seeing a Billygoat every time I look in the mirror!

Finally, a continued THANK YOU to everyone for your kind words. I've had so many e-mails, I'm having a hard time responding to them all. But please know that I'm so grateful for all the prayers, help and encouragement.

It's all gone.

All went well today. I'm now Port-free!

All the doctors and nurses and technicians were really kind and wonderful. My husband cancelled all of his patients this morning so that he could be with me, and for that I am so thankful. When I arrived home in the late morning, I took a Vicodin and just crashed into the early afternoon while Sara cared for the kids. The rest of the day I was a little groggy, and somewhat sore where the operation took place, but I guess all that's to be expected. Daily life went on as usual.

I'm interested to see what sort of mark the surgeon left, but I can't take off the bandage until tomorrow. Actually, I'm not even sure how I'm going to manage to pull off this heavy-duty vinyl-like tape without ripping my skin off as well.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, well-wishes, and prayers for a successful procedure.

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And speaking of prayers, please continue to pray for my friend Andrea and her family, as she continues to give life to and have hope for and faith in the healing of Nathaniel. Please encourage others to pray as well. Andrea really is an amazing person and I'm so touched by her strength and faith these past few months.

Back in Time

Tonight I took Cameron and 2 friends to see Walking with the Dinosaurs: The Live Experience. If they come to your area, you MUST go. It was an amazing experience. The dinosaurs were so lifelike..it was quite scary at times. (I'm glad that Max decided he didn't want to go, because it would have been way too much for him, and I would have spent the show out in the lobby).

All went well throughout the evening, until the end. I had instructed the 3 boys as they went into the bathroom that they stay together (This worked well at intermission). They go in together, they go out together. I stood by the door and waited....and waited....and waited. (Cameron had already pooped today, so I know he wasn't causing the delay. I didn't have a bm report on the other boys' though).

I started to pace around, and looking beyond a protruding wall, I discovered that there was a 2nd door to the bathroom! Slight panic set in. Where were those boys?

After glancing through the crowd for a couple minutes, I finally saw the boys about 20 yards away, standing next to a police officer.

They did come out the 2nd door and couldn't find me. Apparently, Cameron started yelling for me, and an adult took them to a police officer. According to Cameron, he asked them a few questions, like what I looked like. Cameron told him, "My mom has had boy hair, like my friend Ben!" They told me they were there for a little more than 5 minutes.

I'm very proud of them for handling the situation so well. I'd take these 3 boys anywhere!

Life is precious--hug your kids harder today.

It's hard to write about much right now.

I was with my good friend when she discovered that her baby, due in September, will most-likely not survive past birth.

I honor her for choosing her baby's life...God's baby's life.

Please pray for her family's well-being during these next few months.

Cinderella v. Snow White

Since there was no school on Friday, the kids had friends over to play. Cameron and Ben played tennis and boxing on the Wii for 2 hours straight. Max and Abby of course played princesses.

One time I overheard them screaming at each other back and forth, back and forth.

Abby: When I grow up I'm going to be the most beautiful princess!

Max: Well, when I grow up I'M going to be the beautifulest princess because I'm going to have a crown!

Abby: Well, when I grow up I'M going to be the most beautiful princess because I am going to have a crown, and earrings and glass slippers!

Max: Well, I'm going to have earrings, a necklace a bracelet and a crown so I'm going to be the most beautiful princess!

Abby: Well, I'm going to have jewels and a crown and glass slippers and make up and a wand so I'M going to be the most beautiful princess!

This went on for a good ten minutes. And they literally were screaming in each others faces.

The argument was so heated, I was waiting for the hair pulling, nail scratching and biting to begin. I was forced to interrupt their tirade before anything physical began.

Not very princess-like behavior. Not at all.

A brief exchange

I love everything about Christmas….especially Christmas decorations. I love to see everyone’s houses lit up and all the special holiday displays in and outside of the house. Tonight I even took the kids on a tour of some of the extravagantly lit houses in the area.

But sometimes there’s this pressure to have everything look too perfect.

So when my Mom’s Spiritual Spa small group decided to do an ornament exchange, I thought it would be fun to change things up a bit and see who could have the WORST wrapping of their ornament.

I really thought that with my ornament adorned in a diaper and duct tape, I would win.

However, my British friend Libby wrapped hers in a panty liner box.

I think the vote was unanimous. Those darn Europeans…have they no modesty!

Painting the town Pink

Chemo starts tomorrow. So last night, my Mom's Spiritual Spa friends and I all headed out on the town...one last hurrah before the nausea and fatiuge of chemo begins on Monday.

Except since some of us stayed out until the bars closed, not arriving home until 3 AM, the nausea and fatigue started without the chemo!!!!

Thanks Ladies for a wonderful, exciting evening of food, desserts, dancing, drinks, fun and friendship!

I LOVE school! Repeat.

Cameron keeps complaining about school. His reasons are completely innocuous, and actually quite preposterous (using the thesaurus…can you tell!). They deal with not getting to play with his friends, not being able to watch movies during snack time (like in Kindergarten), not getting a drink at snack time (like in Kindergarten), etc. I think I’ve lectured him so much about the importance of an education and his attitude about school that whenever anyone asks him if he likes school, and I’m within earshot, he sorta mumbles a “yeah.” I figure that saying it is the first step to believing it. (My brother will probably say that I’m brainwashing the kid).

If anyone should be complaining about going to school, it should be Max. Because his preschool is on the days that I usually get together with his girlfriend’s mom and some other friends. Last week we went to the zoo, and without Max there, well, his Abby decided to move on to younger, more available men.

I guess when the cats away, the mouse will play…even if she’s only three!

A little vampire

Last week we went to visit a friend of mine who I used to work with. She now has an adorable and fun little boy who is a couple months younger than Ella.

Because he's an only child, I don't think he's used to sharing his toys with other kids. And he's teething. So it really wasn't a surprise when Ella had something that he wanted, he went to bite her. He didn't actually get her, but having bitten her brothers before to show her anger, she knew what little Caleb was up to. And she did not like it.

The rest of the time, she was afraid to go near him. And everytime he motioned anywhere near her, she ran to me like she does whenever she sees a dog. It was quite comical actually.

Because of her fear, I barely managed to get this picture of the two of them together. Note how unhappy she looks.

I always joke about my friends' sons being Ella's little boyfriends. But I don't think she will tolerate this forced love connection....at least not until he's had all his rabie shots!

Quick Visit

Well, we survived the plane ride to New Jersey. Thankfully, Ella managed to save the diarrhea gushing down her leg for the car rental waiting room.

Except for the fact that my kids don’t understand the concept of sleeping in on vacation, we’re having a wonderful and incredibly busy trip.

Yesterday I met up with one of my friends who lives out west now, but is in New York City for a couple weeks. She, her husband and son drove down to experience the “Jersey Shore.” When you grow up in the Midwest, you just don’t get the concept of the shore until you’re actually here. We went to the beach while the kids played in the water and sand, and we visited an Ocean City institution…Mack & Manco pizza, where the place was so packed with loud families, my own rambunctious children fit right in. We were able to walk briefly on the boards and glance at the rides before they had to head back north to return the rental car.

The most interesting part was watching their little son, who is just a few months younger than Ella. Being around my kids before and knowing how they behave, my friend always says that she had one of my children. But this idea did not register properly until I actually saw him in action. Seriously, he fit right in with my kiddos. Not sitting for dinner, walking around getting into everything, throwing a tantrum because he wanted the ice cream in the cone, not in a cup, walking his way down the boards and insisting we follow him instead of heading in the direction we needed to go. My friend said that she enjoyed being around us because she didn’t feel like she had to apologize for her son’s behavior!

The visit was so short, but it was wonderful having them here. I think vacationing with great friends, no matter how short the time may be, is just fabulous! Can’t wait to visit them sometime soon.

The Queen's manners

I adore my friend Libby (Ben's Mom) because she does things like:

apologizes if she might have lost some "social etiquette" since she's had a bit of beer with her husband at dinner.

Now imagine her saying that with a British accent.

Too cute!!!

Some spring chickens

As I am now in my mid thirties, with three children, I see new signs of physical aging popping up every day. It’s depressing. So anytime someone actually thinks I’m much younger is welcomed……except for yesterday.

My friend Shawn and I needed a dinner out. I had just survived a week with a teenager visiting and had an Easter party at my house with over a dozen kids. I was exhausted, but I needed an hour or two just to get away. My friend’s husband had been working non-stop all week, and with a 1 and 2 year old to look after and clean up after and entertain all while trying to sell their house, well, she needed a break. Actually, we needed more than just a break, we needed a drink.

We chose Mexican because we wanted some good margaritas. I had heard of this locally owned place that served some good food and some good drink. Perfect for our little dinner outing. When the waitress took our drink order, she actually carded us. We giggled. “You’re too kind,” my friend said. I just laughed, as it’s quite evident with my "fine lines" and grey hairs and overall haggard look that there’s no way I could be in my 20s, let alone under 21!

The thing is, the waitress, who was probably in her late 30s early 40s was not trying to complement us. She really wanted to see our IDs. Maybe it was because it was little dark in the restaurant, or maybe she had poor eye sight. But she told us that we looked really young. I showed her mine, still laughing. But my friend Shawn could not find hers. It was in her backpack/diaper bag, with the sitters, at home. The waitress told her she couldn’t serve her. As Shawn was shuffling through her wallet, she flashed her pictures of her 2 kids, and told her she was 38 years old. But still, the waitress would not serve her.

We still had a good dinner and great conversation. But looking “so young” sure was a bummer.