a couple more bd pics

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“We often suffer, but we are never crushed. Even when we don't know what to do, we never give up. In times of trouble, God is with us, and when we are knocked down, we get up again” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ComtemporaryEnglish Version)

Max 5th bd

Max had his birthday party today at The Little Gym. His friend gave him some flowers that he liked.

He had a Cars movie cake on his actual bd.

And a Sponge Bob cake for his actual party.

Thanks for coming and for all the fun gifts

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"By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence." 2 Peter 1:3 (NLT)

sleepy boy

Preschool can be really tiring work sometimes.

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The Lord is your keeper;

The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;

He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in

From this time forth, feom this time forth, and forevermore.

Psalm 121:5, 7-8

graduation

Max had his preschool graduation today.

Here he is with his wonderful teacher.

I was very happy that I was able to be there to see him.

Deuterotomy...Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people." 7 What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him? 8 And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today?
9 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Different Thoughts

One of the issues of my cancer continues to be the time/scheduling. Really, I felt like I wrote and published my blog yesterday......obviously not!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I visited my oncologist and, he said my blood counts looked good. Yeah!!!! They want to start to taper my steroids, which sounds good to me. He said I could be more tired when they start the taper. Maybe that will allow me to sleep through the night without other medication.

Things went very well with Max's preschool trip to the Children's Theatre in Minneapolis. It was fun and the kids had a blast. I'm really happy that I got to go and felt great during the entire performance. It's a wonderful place to go if you're ever interested.

I did try to walk/ run last night. I didn't get very far though. Just felt it was getting late and I needed some rest. Sometimes running clears my mind...other times not so much.

Dear friends, don't be surprised by the fiery troubles that are coming in order to test you. Don't feel as though something strange is happening to you, but be happy as you share Christ's sufferings. Then you will also be full of joy when he appears again in his glory. (I Peter 4:12-13)

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

Let not your heart be troubled. You are entrusting God, now trust in Me. (John 14: 1).

I will never fail you nor forsake you. (Heb. 13:5)

Praise God Lord Jesus. I just praise you!!!!!

A little puzzling

(Photo by Kathleen Smith)

My little Max has some obsessive compulsive tendencies. It started when he was quite young. Every night, he HAD to have his covers a certain way. When he was a bit older, he insisted on watching us turn on the air conditioner, even in below zero whether. And now when it comes to his "papers" and "pictures" that he makes, I can't throw any out, or he will look and look and look for the one picture he drew 2 weeks ago at a restaurant, or he'll go to bed screaming about it.

I'm hoping this OCD tendency will manifest itself into greatness....that his stubbornness and persistence will pay off some day, in whatever positive way that would be.

Today Max took out a puzzle. A 150 piece puzzle. A Shrek puzzle featuring Max's favorite character...Fiona. That little child worked on that puzzle for at least an hour this afternoon, and then continued with it later this evening. It's still not done, but he in no way plans on giving up. He was not happy when I made him go up to bed before finishing it, but I told him he can continue with it in the morning.

Not only is he determined, but obviously quite patient as well, if you consider the difficulty of the puzzle for his age.

I can only hope that tomorrow I have half his patience. I have yet another unexpected 3 hour MRI tomorrow on my entire spine again. Apparently a little weakness in your foot is not something to take lightly, as 3 different doctors ordered this long MRI because of their concern. I'll just show up and lie there...and maybe take some Vicodin to help get me through it.

I guess size matters

The other day our nanny Sara was changing her baby's diaper. Max was watching her do this, and he became quite interested in what he saw.

"Why is that so big?" he asked referring to little Leo's scrotum.

Sara just told him that that's what little babies looked like (or something similar).

However, Max, who seems to be in competition with everyone lately, couldn't let anyone think he wasn't better or at least equal to this little baby. He had to find something on him that was bigger.

So his next response was "Well, I have a big penis. His is little."

Oh my....and so it starts.

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Last night, even without Ativan, I was able to sleep through the night. Melvin even said that I was snoring! It was the best sleep I'd had since before my surgery.

Now I don't know if it was my new medications, or my full night of rest, but I had a lot less pain in my head today (probably a combination of both). My head was hardly hurting during the day (although I am experiencing some pain now), and I didn't need to take any Vicodin until tonight. The other issues on the right side of my face continued to bother me, including an earache. I'm hoping that the Neurontin that I just started will work this problem out soon.

I forgot to mention yesterday that when I was at Dr. Madavi's (the neurologist), she said that she wanted to order a spinal tap to be done on me. I can't remember if she wanted this to be done because of the spot they found on my MRI, or because of the pain and/or numbness I had been experiencing. To me, it doesn't matter why she said this...all I know is that when she said the words "spinal tap," I immediately shuddered. I actually know nothing about spinal taps, but I heard they stick a needle in your back, and that they're very painful. Dr. Madavi must have sensed my fear because she told me that I certainly can discuss it with my husband, and that I might want to go to my appointment at the Mayo Clinic and see what they say before I have the spinal tap done. Now it's not that I don't trust my doctor, I just don't like pain...any pain! Our Mayo appointment is Tuesday and Wednesday....I think I'll definitely see what they say first.

For now, I'm just incredibly thankful for the rest and since I feel so tired right now, I'm hoping tonight will be the same. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for better sleep for me. God is good.

Equal Time

Max likes for things to be equal...all the time...about everything. "Why does Ella have an extra crumb with her cookie?" "Why was your smile at Cameron an extra millimeter bigger than your smile at me?"

So obviously I MUST give equal time on this blog donated to his first day of preschool today. Last year he attended just 2 mornings a week. This year he is going 3 days a week, from 9:30 to 2:00. Perfect timing I thought. Not too early trying to rush him there. Not too short of a day. Not too long either. I'm hoping for some good learning time to occur this year.

It was an amazingly peaceful dropoff. Last year I don't think there was a kid in the class who wasn't screaming, crying or at least whining. What difference a year makes. It was so quiet in that class, you'd think it was library time or something. All the kids were just content to quietly play with toys until the teacher was ready to begin. It was really nice.

Here's a picture of Max holding some telescope craft that he made all on his own yesterday when he was hanging out with me around the house. Max was NOT happy that he didn't have a backpack full of supplies to bring with him to school like Cameron. I was able to snap a picture of Max and Cameron together, but for some reason, Max did NOT want Cameron to touch him. He actually didn't want Cameron even in the picture. "No mom, it's my first day. No pictures of Cameron."

I am not happy to report that we had a chilly morning already. Keep thinking warm summer thoughts please! As usual, Ella jumped right into all the action and just started playing with all the toys in the classroom as if they belonged to her. I didn't get a chance to talk to the teacher because I had an appointment with my Radiation Oncologist (which I'll write about tomorrow), but overall it seems that Max had a very good day. He came home with a new song and dance that Cameron already knew, so the boys loved doing it together....especially the part where they got to stick their butts out while wiggling around. Boys.

Although I have a lot of reservations and am nervous about Max fitting in and really doing well, I'm also incredibly excited for him, thinking about how much he's going to grow and learn this year.

Here's to a wonderful year my little love bug Max!

Getting through another day

Well, I survived another day...excuse the pun!!!!!

Here's the problem right now. I wake up feeling fine and normal. Get me my cup of coffee and all is good. But then I have all these drugs I have to start taking, to keep swelling down, and to prevent more seizures, and those drugs are just messing with my head. I exist through my entire day in a daze...and I hate it! I go through the motions of doing everything, but I don't actually "feel" anything. Which is just a wierd state to be in. Kinda funny too. As I'm at Target with my kids, them eating lunch there, it completly doesn't bother me that they might be acting all loud and crazy.

I do feel bad that I seem to be avoiding people around the neighborhood. But right now, I just can't be social. I'm still feeling some anxiety, but it is disappating, so that's good. I do so continue to appreciate the dinners and treats everyone has been dropping by for me! So kind! I I jut need to get off these meds and get back to normal.

Now in my hazy state today, I brought Max in to meet his preschool teacher this year. They changed a bunch of stuff around on me already with teachers and the program I thought I was putting him in, so already I'm on edge about him starting the year. I'm giving it a month.

Cameron got to meet his teacher today and he found out some of the kids in his class. This will be the deciding year as to whether we keep him in public school or find something to push him further along.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I havent' washed my hair in a week! I can't until the staples come out....Friday! I'm sporting a pretty nasty, smelly due!!!!!!!!

My four year old!

Happy birthday to my adorable Max.

You have the most incredible eyes and amazing triple dimple.

You're such a great big brother to Ella and a wonderful friend for Cameron.

You have these funny quirks that just make me shake my head in disbelief.

You're hilarious with all the funny voices you like to use.

You love to pick me flowers...and then carefully arrange them and tape them together.

You're so confident in your manhood, you'll willingly play princesses with your best friend Abbie, wearing a pink dress and tiara.

You will bob around the pool for hours with a life-jacket on.

You love to do I-Spy books with Sara, and anyone else who has the patience to look for all those tiny, obscure items.

You're great at painting, glueing, coloring, etc.

You'll devour anything and everything with cheese...especially macaroni and cheese.

But best of all, you're just this amazing, loving, funny kid, and I can't wait to see what the years ahead have in store for us.

Growing Up...I guess

Max HATES doctors. If you even mention something about possibly having to see a physician sometime in the far distant future, he'll start balling his eyes out.

But for some reason, when I told him that he was going to the ear doctor....and assured him that he was not going to get a shot...he was fine with it.

For the first time ever, he entered the office and let the doctor do what he needed to do without me having to hold him down and constantly wipe away massive amounts of tears. My big boy sat right up in the doctor's chair and let the ENT look for "little bunnies" in his ears. No drips from his eyes...not even any whining.

It seems his right tube is about to fall out...which is what needs to happen. But the left tube is in there quite firmly. The doctors don't like for tubes to stay in more than 2 years. So we're going

to check again this summer. If the tubes haven't fallen out, they may need to be surgically removed.

I was quite proud of my little Max. But we'll see how he reacts when he has to have a physical later this summer, and he DOES have to get a shot. I think I might have to purchase some earplugs (for me and the entire office) to get through that appointment.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer......

The other day, as I was unloading groceries and putting them away, Cameron was hanging out in the kitchen. I showed him that I bought him the hot dogs that he likes before tucking them away in the meat drawer in the fridge. But suddenly, he gasped, and asked me if he could see the package again.

When he read the covering of the hot dogs, he keeled over in a ridiculous fit of laughter.

"Wieners! That says wieners!"

The boy could not stop laughing. He was in complete hysterics. "That says wieners! They're calling their hot dogs wieners! Why would they do that!"

He has now been way too obsessed with this new found knowledge. First of all, like when he discovered the truth behind Santa, he feels it's his duty to educate everyone about this moniker.

Secondly, he finds it necessary to emphasize the word with extreme volume and high-pitched exaggeration every time he uses it.

And thirdly, he now must refer to the "wieners" any chance he gets.

Yesterday, my husband was grilling some of those Oscar Meyers that started all this.

Cameron's comment: "I'm glad that's not my wiener you're grilling!"

I wonder how long this fascination will last. Because now Max is getting in on all the fun. it's a bit embarrassing...especially when they start shouting about it in public.

My little author

Cameron came home with a portfolio of work today. It was fun reading through his stories. Here is one from the middle of the year. I typed his actual spelling because I find it to be entertaining but put the correct word in parentheses, in case you're not used to reading phonetic spelling.

When my little Bother (brother) named Max said lets fight to me I said bring it on little man. So I bumed (bumped) him by a accidend (accident). My Brother said oow. I said you’re weeck (weak). Then I knocked his body into a wall he fell down. It looked like he fianted (fainted).

I was cracking up. I really don’t meen (mean) like a crack on the sidewalk. I ment (meant) like somebody laughed so hard he coodn’t (couldn’t) stop. That’s what I akchley (actually) ment (meant). And fainted meens (means) he falls down and lands in a waered (weird) pudishin (position). If you look on the pitcher (picture) you’ll know what it looks like. The first picture is colled (called) crash faint. The second picture is colled (called) hot faint. And those were the to (two) fainting pitchers (pictures). Then I ran exstreemly (extremely) fast. But my Brother dojed (dodged) my attack. And he ran exstreemly (extremely) hiper (hyper) fast in a circle. That’s how he stopped my attack from working. I tried to stop his attack. This is what I did. I tried to run a lot exsreemly (extremely) hiper (hyper) speed then (than) my Brother. But he did it faster than me. Then he throo (threw) a hamer (hammer) at me. It hit me on my fourhead (forehead). It hurt very bad. I fell on the ground. When my Brother throo (threw) the hamer (hammer) at me it made me have a bad headack (headache).

So I beat him up really good. I used my hand to punch him under the chin. Max tried to dodge it but he coldent (couldn’t) do it. The dodge he was trieing (trying) to do is called tornato (tornado) get away. I thought (thought) it was funny because he did tornato (tornado) get away and all because of that! He was spining (spinning) everywere (everywhere) in a circle. When he was flying he was sceeming (screeming). Then we got super powers. I got tornato (tornado) power. Max got spydder (spider) robot power. Then Max shot spiy (spy) robots at me. One made my fat foot explode. So I shot a tornato (tornado) at him. His robots got sucked in. And they exploited (exploded). There was one more left. It was the Dad. The dad was so mad because I defeted (defeated) his family. So he tried to use his heet (heat) vision on me. But I used a tornato (tornado) to stop it. It made the tornato be hot lava tornato. Then I had hot lava tornatos. So I shot one at the Daddy. Then he got on fire and xploded (exploded). Then I read with my mom. The end.

At first I thought the story was hilarious, then got a little concerned wondering when all this fighting was actually happening. When I read the part about Max hitting Cameron in the head with a hammer, I was relieved because I realized it was actually a fictional tale. It's quite obvious in the rest of the story. Maybe I should be concerned with all the violence...but I'm not.

They might end up hating music soon.

Max and Ella like music. Ella sings songs in her crib, Max likes to play with instruments and they both like to dance. This winter I signed them up for a music class at the YMCA. It was fun for the first couple classes, but then it was the same thing every time…and mostly singing songs that we already knew. But it was cheap, so I guess you get what you pay for.

Despite the price tag, I decided to sign them up for the next session with Music Together…a national program that I did with my two little ones when they were much younger. Although annoying at first, the songs seem to grow on you. Each session different types of instruments and props are brought out to go along with the music. We also get a CD, so we can learn the songs at home as well.

I signed up with one of my neighbors, and a friend from my Bible study signed up for the class as well. I thought this was going to be a wonderful musical experience with friends.

Instead, it’s a very stressful class, and if I didn’t pay so much money for my kids to participate, I would forgo the rest of the lessons.

We have a different teacher than previously. Our last teacher was great at engaging the kids, but also understanding that not all kids are going to sit nicely and do whatever you want them to. She had a great balance to the class. This new teacher is the owner of the local Music Together franchise… she is very particular about how she wants her class run.

First of all, we’re not allowed to talk to other adults in the room. Okay, I guess I get this. I guess we should be interacting with our kids and not socializing with other adults. But as an adult, I think I would know when my talking would be a distraction.

Secondly, we can’t even talk to our kids. The teacher says that the kids are surrounded by language all day, and that in music class we want to immerse them in music. So if we need to say something to our kids, we should sing it.

Now I have two problems with this. One, I’ll do all the silly songs, and motions and dances that she wants us to model for our kids. But I draw the line at singing to my kids when I need to tell them something. That’s just too silly for me.

And secondly, since she has lots of other rules (which are mostly understandable), like kids can’t run in music class, kids shouldn’t be talking, kids apparently shouldn’t be hugging each other and rolling on the floor together (like Max and Ella often do), kids can’t hang on the dance bars in the studio, kids can’t scream, I’m constantly NEEDING to talk to my kids to tell them to stop doing all the things they’re not allowed to do. This is what I spend most of the class doing now.

And yet still, three times on Friday, my little darlings were reprimanded by the teacher (in a song voice of course) for “wrestling,” tossing shaker eggs in the air, and something else that I can’t even remember right now. Also, my two just get very excited and sometimes their squeals of delight sound like screams. I’m not going to stop them from being happy!

I’d post some pictures of them beating on the giant drums, or dancing with the colorful scarves, except we’re not allowed to take pictures during class (apparently it’s a distraction to the music).

At the end of class, during the goodbye song, some of the kids run up to the teacher and give her a hug. I turned to Max and Ella and asked them if they wanted to give their teacher a hug as well. The looks on their faces were priceless. They had a scowl as if saying, “Why in the world would we want to do that? She’s the one who’s always getting us in trouble!”

Many of the mom’s afterwards have told me that I shouldn’t worry about it. That my kids are actually just fine. But apparently the teacher doesn’t think so.

I think we have about 5 more classes left. I hope we make it through without incident. Then, I think I’ll just pocket the ridiculous tuition, and let The Backyardigans, The Wonder Pets and all those other musical shows help foster my kid’s melodic talents….for free.

Cinderella v. Snow White

Since there was no school on Friday, the kids had friends over to play. Cameron and Ben played tennis and boxing on the Wii for 2 hours straight. Max and Abby of course played princesses.

One time I overheard them screaming at each other back and forth, back and forth.

Abby: When I grow up I'm going to be the most beautiful princess!

Max: Well, when I grow up I'M going to be the beautifulest princess because I'm going to have a crown!

Abby: Well, when I grow up I'M going to be the most beautiful princess because I am going to have a crown, and earrings and glass slippers!

Max: Well, I'm going to have earrings, a necklace a bracelet and a crown so I'm going to be the most beautiful princess!

Abby: Well, I'm going to have jewels and a crown and glass slippers and make up and a wand so I'M going to be the most beautiful princess!

This went on for a good ten minutes. And they literally were screaming in each others faces.

The argument was so heated, I was waiting for the hair pulling, nail scratching and biting to begin. I was forced to interrupt their tirade before anything physical began.

Not very princess-like behavior. Not at all.

A little confused

The other day Max was looking at the little "beauty marks" all over me and asked what they were.

"They're moles," I told him. "Do you have any moles?"

"Yeah, I have two big ones," and he promptly pointed to his chest.

Laughing I corrected him, "No Max, those are called nipples."

"Oh."

Later that day, as I was giving hin a piggy back ride, he was examining my bald noggin.

Giggling, he observed, "Mom, you have a nipple on your head!"

My little princess

This is a daily occurence in our house:



Max wants to play princesses. But when I try to tell him that he's a prince, he gets really mad and yells, "No! I'm a princESS!"

I know I shouldn't be concerned. I know it's probably just a phase. I know it doesn't and shouldn't matter.

I know, I know, I know.

My friends always say to me, "What does your husband think about this?"

The other day he commented, "When Max's wife wakes up in the middle of the night and finds him wearing her dresses, it will be your fault."

My thought was, "Well, at least you think he's going to have a wife!"

Back at ya.

Now Ella was vomiting last night.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do with these two. They keep passing their illness back and forth.

I'm sure it doesn't help that they like to hang out under a blanket together. (Today this included spitting in each other's faces).

I sure could use a healthy family right now.

No Words

How did that get in there?

When dropping Max off at preschool yesterday, Ella left one of her Burger King kid’s meal toys. Max didn’t want anyone else to take it, so he quickly put it away. Did he put it in his cubby? In his backpack? With his jacket?

Nope, he stuck it down his underwear.

“Well it wouldn’t fit in my pocket,” he proclaimed.

He had it in there the entire 3 hours, and didn’t remember it was in his pants until I buckled him in his carseat.

When protecting your sister's toys, you gotta do what you gotta do…I guess.