Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Getting through another day

Well, I survived another day...excuse the pun!!!!!

Here's the problem right now. I wake up feeling fine and normal. Get me my cup of coffee and all is good. But then I have all these drugs I have to start taking, to keep swelling down, and to prevent more seizures, and those drugs are just messing with my head. I exist through my entire day in a daze...and I hate it! I go through the motions of doing everything, but I don't actually "feel" anything. Which is just a wierd state to be in. Kinda funny too. As I'm at Target with my kids, them eating lunch there, it completly doesn't bother me that they might be acting all loud and crazy.

I do feel bad that I seem to be avoiding people around the neighborhood. But right now, I just can't be social. I'm still feeling some anxiety, but it is disappating, so that's good. I do so continue to appreciate the dinners and treats everyone has been dropping by for me! So kind! I I jut need to get off these meds and get back to normal.

Now in my hazy state today, I brought Max in to meet his preschool teacher this year. They changed a bunch of stuff around on me already with teachers and the program I thought I was putting him in, so already I'm on edge about him starting the year. I'm giving it a month.

Cameron got to meet his teacher today and he found out some of the kids in his class. This will be the deciding year as to whether we keep him in public school or find something to push him further along.

Oh, and have I mentioned that I havent' washed my hair in a week! I can't until the staples come out....Friday! I'm sporting a pretty nasty, smelly due!!!!!!!!

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At 8:29 PM, Blogger Fantastic Four said...

Do NOT feel bad if you feel that you are avoiding people in the neighborhood!!! I understand, and to be honest, I feel like I do it on a daily basis and do not mean to! There are just some days I like to be inside and alone...and you have every right to feel the way you are feeling, you have been through so much and we all understand!

I was so bummed that Cameron and Lincoln were not together in class, as I really feel they would be good for each other on a daily basis!

Just take your time "trying" to feel better!

At 9:21 PM, Blogger AnnD said...

I am in awe you are at Target with the kiddos and have gone to school - the past few weeks have been a bit rough (just a bit though!) - give yourself tons of space, you need it.

At 9:30 PM, Blogger IrishMommy said...

Everyone understands and appreciates your honesty. Get your rest and like I said last night -- baby steps! Take it day by day, we are all your biggest cheerleaders... Can I come and get you and the kids tomorrow morning for play date? If your not up to it, how about I come and get the kiddos? 10ish?? Call me

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


I just got an email from Dana and a call from your mom... both refered to to your blog... You are in my families thoughts right now. Reading your blog I am forever amazed by how strong (and humorous!)you seem to be and how well you are holding up. I mean, TARGET? Bravery- that is all I can say- pure bravery.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do.

sending our love your way,

gwen and august

At 11:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Cari-
Going out to Target? Can't believe it! (But I also can't believe that you are blogging already!!) Doesn't sound much like taking it easy, but given the toddler meltdown or two we've had at Target I think going there slightly drug-induced might not be that bad...

Thinking of you all the time- lots of love and prayers coming to you from Utah- wish we were there to help out-
Lauren, Bernie, Zev, and Zoe

P.S. Sara's baby boy is beautiful- please tell her congratulations!

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

I'm glad to hear you're able to get out and do stuff- even if you are in a haze. Take your time with the social stuff, everyone understands.
I miss you. Look forward to seeing you when you're up to it.
In the mean time, I'm continuing to pray for your healing and if there's anything else I can do, please let me know.

At 8:01 AM, Blogger JJ said...

Out at Target less than a week after brain surgery?? You are Wonder Woman! Cancer doesn't stand a chance with you. I don't know why it even bothers.

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Caro said...

I thought kids were supposed to be noisy at Target. Isn't it like a rule or something? I know my kids are.

People will understand if you don't feel like socializing at the moment. I'm sure of it.

At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Rosalyn said...

WOMAN! SIT DOWN! I know that you are trying to be there for your children; reasoning= take focus off of self, reality= this is about you, and you need to rest, heal, and let your family take care of you the way they would like to.'We' know,(you and me), that God has already done what He said He would do, but let them pamper you anyway. Love, Granny Roz


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