Crayons, Half PB & J sandwich, 5 different McDonald toys, etc.

This weekend I spent almost 2 hours vacuuming out my vehicle. I filled up one paper grocery bag with trash, and another bag and a half of "things" that needed to be returned to the house.

All this work, and yet, when you step into my minivan, it is STILL nothing but disgusting!

Is it sad that all I want for Mother's Day is my car detailed?

Another gross one

Yesterday I found Ella standing IN the toilet.

Today while riding in the car, Ella decided to explore the poop sitting in her diaper, mushing it between her fingers, rubbing it on her legs and smearing it on her carseat!

And then…

Right before her bath tonight, I took her clothes off and started to run the water. I found her standing on the other side of the wall, reaching into her diaper and piling up some little hard turds on the ground!

I never though I’d hear myself saying, “Don’t touch your poop!” “Yucky!” No hands in poop!”

To which Ella just grins broadly and responds, “ucky!” with a little giggle.

How can something so cute do something so disgusting!

Another smell.

“Mom! It smells like wet sheets in here!” Cameron screamed from the bathroom.

What the hell is he talking about? I thought to myself. The only kind of wet sheets he knows about are the ones that he wakes up on in the morning as he once again would have another “accident.”

“Do you mean the wet sheets that you peed on?”

“Yeah!” he hollered.

So I walked into the bathroom, just as Cameron was drying his hands, to see who might have missed the toilet.

“Cameron, I don’t see any pee anywhere.”

“Well, when you stick your head down to the toilet it smells like wet sheets.”

After my initial shudder of the thought of him sticking his head into the toilet, I hesitated to ask the next question, but knew that I had to.

“And was the toilet flushed when you stuck your head near it.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

No wonder it smelled like wet sheets.

Brilliant my 6 year old is…just brilliant.

The silent type

Last week, when my husband was helping Max get out of his carseat, Max announced, "Excuse me" for what appeared to be no clear reason.

"Why did you say 'excuse me' Max?" Melvin asked.

Max's response: "Cause I burped out my butt."

Good enough to eat?

Today Ella was feeling well enough to play. She even fiddled around with the Play-doh while Max was using it to make “noodles” and “bacon” and “sausage.” After about 20 minutes she became bored with it and started to eat it instead. Not just lick it, but chew on it!

“No Ella!” I told her over and over, as she proceeded to smile and quickly try to sneak some in her mouth before I grabbed it from her.

Max tried to come to her defense. “Mommy, it’s okay!” he informed me. “She can eat it. I gave her food.”

Ugh. Please don’t tell me my child actually thinks he’s making real noodles with the play-doh.

Sugar and Spice and everything Salty

(Note to my boys: I love and adore you too, but this one is just about the little ladies. )



I love little girls. They have these smiles that light up an entire room. Their giddy laughs are so delightful to hear. When they’re angry, I can’t help but chuckle at their furious faces. When they throw tantrums, I actually think it’s kind of funny. This goes for my own little Ella, and all the other little girls I encounter often. From infancy on up, little girls are just adorable to me….

Even when they discover they can stick their finger up their nose and lick it…over and over again…as Ella has been doing lately. There’s just something darling about such an otherwise disgusting action when a little girl in pink with pigtails perched on her head is doing it.