My own performance review

One of the most difficult things about being a Stay-at-home Mom, after having the experience of a career, is the lack of recognition you receive. When you work at a job, people see what you do. You get praised, you get "thank you's", you may even get a raise. At the very least, you get a paycheck. Something tangible to show the results of your labor.

When you're a stay at home mom, most of the time no one sees what you do. No one recognizes the daily dishwasher unloading, no one notices the spills you're constantly cleaning up, no one pays attention to the driving back and forth to the kids' various functions.

And that's fine. I've come to realize that the screams for attention, the need for too many kisses to prolong bedtime and my kids' begging me to push them higher on their swings is my reward...whether anyone recognizes my work or not.

But today, I just need a little recognition. Because on a BEAUTIFUL summer day like today, I spent a few hours doing work that I will NEVER get recognition for. So I'm just going to pat myself on the back for all the time I spent cleaning out my junk drawers/cabinets that have cluttered up my kitchen for way too long! (Since I'm a packrat, this is a HUGE accomplishment on my part...parting with 3 grocery bags full of crap!).

And since none of you had the privilege of being a part of this cleaning extravaganza, I'll post some pictures for you to enjoy! Ha. Ha.

Now please, take this time to post a comment, recognizing yourself for some unnoticable chore you did today!

Done

We moved to Minnesota when Cameron was just 5 weeks old.

A couple months later I started my journey into grad school.

Six years and 2 more kids later, I finally completed the 30 credits for my Masters in Education in Curriculum and Instruction in English Education from the University of Minnesota.

We had a party last night called my “Finally! fiesta”

Several people were asking me the question of the night: “So what are you going to do now?”

And I don’t think my standard answer of “I don’t know” portrayed any kind of intelligence.

Here are the things I have in mind:

Take another class. My advisor wants me to take his class on some new technologies which involve a bunch of stuff (great vocab for an English teacher) that I don’t really get since I’m no longer around teenagers on a daily basis…things like creating podcasts, wikipedia, etc.

I could just be a mom…and continue with doing all the daily chores that I abhore around the house…(the chores I abhore…not my kids…love them…but not their messes!). I could actually try to teach my 2 littlest ones their letters and sounds and plan some real learning activities besides watching Backyardigans, Dora, and Wonder Pets.

I could get a teaching job….but I will only do part time at the moment. And then I’d fear that I’d spend too much of my time with my kids too stressed out worrying about how I was going to get all my school work done. Because when you’re a good teacher, your work day NEVER ends at 4 PM like so many non-teachers think. Plus, it’s actually quite hard to find a part time job for a middle school teacher. And, despite my certification, I have little interest in teaching high school. Furthermore, despite the benefits of my advanced degree, too many school districts have too many budget restraints that won't let them hire anyone with a Masters or beyond.

I could try to be a consultant. That’s what I think I want to do. That way I could answer my calling and feel like I’m really doing something, while also having the flexibility to be with my kids as I/they need. My plan is to take this next year, figure out how to create a business as a consultant, and get it all together to implement the following year. There are so many charter schools in Minnesota…many who can’t afford departement heads who are needed to create effective and inspiring curriculum…that I feel this could really work. But my problem is I’m not much of an extrovert. Although I do feel confident in my teaching abilities and I have the passion for middle school students, I’d really be stepping out of my “comfort zone” to do something like this. And this is S-C-A-R-Y!

Plus, if I don’t so something, how am I supposed to justify having Sara four days a week who helps me out so much with the housework and my 3 munchkins. We have NO intention of letting her go…but I feel I need some sort of “job” or “school” to justify her help without feeling like a completely spoiled housewife!!!!

But I am so grateful to my husband for his support both emotionally and financially, and I need realize that I am so blessed that I do have so many choices. But if you were around my kiddos lately,…who ignore everything I say, or who whine and cry for everything, or who reach for anyone else who is near as soon as she sees me approach her, you’d understand that I need SOMETHING else to help me feel like I’m contributing something positive to society.

Pulled

My kids know just how to tug at my heart strings.

This morning, Cameron was up at 5:30, and Max was up at 5:45. Groggily, I boiled some water for their instant oatmeal, with all intentions of crashing on the couch while they ate. Instead, as soon as I started to lie down, Cameron came over to me with the sweetest voice, handing me the dinosaur book I bought him yesterday and asked so sweetly, “Mommy, can I read this book to you?” He KNOWS that I LOVE when he reads to me…not at 6 AM, but I’ll take it whenever I can get it. So I didn’t even hesistate with an “Of course.” And for the next 30 minutes, I struggled to keep my eyes open while learning all about baby dinosaurs.

After dinner, while Cameron and Max were working on a Dora puzzle together, I really needed to get some of their lasagna mess cleaned up, but Ella wouldn’t let me. She crawled over to me, nestled herself in my lap, and then kept turning around to push her forehead against mine, smiling and laughing. Then she started clapping and “singing.” The dishes had to wait.

Later, we were watching Happy Feet in the movie room. I really wanted to just settle in and watch it, but the family room had toys strewn all over it, the dinner dishes were still on the table, and 2 loads of laundry needed to be put away. I managed to sneak away for a little bit, but kept coming downstairs to check on the kiddos. One of the times I peeked in for a moment and was about to head back upstairs to do some work when Cameron wandered over to me and asked in that sweet little voice again, “Mommy, can I sit on your lap?” Again, I couldn’t resist, and we snuggled together, watching the penguins dance and sing (until Max joined us and insisted on wedging himself between Cameron and me so that he too could sit on my lap).

And right now…after ten o’clock, I have Max sitting next to me. He had a long nap today, which means going to bed is nothing but a chore. Usually I do the up and down routine…bringing him back up to his bed, lying down with him for a little bit, getting him something to drink, threatening him, etc. But tonight he stopped in the toy room, brought his Whack A Mole game over to where I was working and asked, “Can you please play game wif me?” Again, my heart melted, and we proceed to clobber the little moles, and also play a little fishing game, and punched numbers in on a calculator.

So I’m very tired, my reviews are not done, the kitchen is not clean, the laundry is not put away and my 2 year old is still awake, yawning, but awake with his head resting on my arm. But really, what’s more important? I put my kids off enough to do all the stuff I feel I need to do. But today, their needs came first.

Exchange

I’m TRYING to be a better housewife. Even though the term housewife makes my skin crawl, and it’s something I said I’d never be, I decided to just throw in the towel, admit that’s what I am and try to fulfill some of my duties. So I began the whole “make real meals” initiative. And so far, my Sandra Lee semi-homemade cookbook has produced some delicious dinners. I’m actually somewhat enjoying it.

And I’ve been TRYING to keep things cleaned up better….at least having the kitchen clean by the time Melvin gets home at night. In order to do this I have to have the kids out of the way. So tonight while Cameron was watching Scooby Doo, Max and Ella went down the basement to play while I cleaned the kitchen. I must admit, I did hear a lot of noise and banging, but since I didn’t hear screaming from either of my little munchkins, I ignored the clatter so that I could finish cleaning without having anyone try to empty my dirty dishwasher or pull food out of the pantry, etc. Instead of checking, I just yelled down to Max and asked if Ella was okay. She let out a squeal of delight, and he hollered back, “She okay!” And the noise continued.

When I was done, I made my way down the basement. And this is what I found:

He had been throwing every toy he could find in one big pile. When I asked Max why he made such a mess, his ingenious response was, “’Cause.”

So while one room was cleaned….another was ruined.

Not my genes

Ever wish you could take something about your young child and just freeze it…hoping it will stay with them forever?

Today I just want to capture this moment.




When my two sons were begging me to let them clean. Mind you, it was their bedtime so they might have just been stalling, and they seem to have no desire to clean up their toy room. But give them a wet rag, a broom and a dustpan, and are in their glory in my kitchen, wiping the table, the cabinets, Ella’s high chair, sweeping the floor, etc.

I figure this excitement to clean up will not last very long, so I just want to treasure it today.

The only thing that would make this moment even better is if Max's vacuum, which makes all the noise of the real appliance, actually worked.