ok

It has been a long time since I have written. but I'm ok.

My computer actually was not working.

My sister is still here until tomorrow.

My mom is back.

And my husband is still wonderful

chemo chemo chemo

So much has been going on here.

My mother in law is here, so that has been nice.

I started a new chemo today. And will have another kind each day next week.

I was able to see Harry Potter with my husband yesterday. Cameron was mad that we wouldn't let him see it. But it's really not for his age...at least I don't think so.

My mom will be leaving for a couple weeks. She needs the break but we will miss her.

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1 Peter 4-11

Farher, I pray that their family members love one another

That they are hospitable to one another without complaint

Serving by the strength that You supply.

So that in all things You may be glorified

Running East

I've received a lot of gifts from people encouraging and praying for me. My Aunt Marianna and Uncle Keith sent me a framed copy of the poem below. I love it!

Today I Run East!
(A promise of HOPE)
By Barbara D. MacAdam

When I got the news, my world stood still. Like a breath in the twilight, tightly held through sheer will. So I’ve stayed in this dream state, suspended in time, where the past has not left and the future’s not mine.

Fear swells within me, and try as I might, I can’t stay where I am. I know I must fight. With a gasp my lungs burn, as I climb to my feet, but which way should I run—toward the West or toward the East?

The West holds my dreams & joys of my past. They are trapped in the sunset—how long would I last? I’d have to keep running just to stay in the light, but I’m growing so weary. I need help with this fight!

I rest my eyes briefly, lying prostrate due west, mourning precious time spent on this futile quest. The dark at my back, creeping forth from the East, holds the fear of the future like a stalking beast.

My heart has grown weary. My mind cannot cope. Shattered dreams slip through fingers—I’m losing all hope. Then a small voice recanted a promise I’d heard. “Come to Me all ye weary,” you can trust in My word.

It brought back a stirring of rekindled faith. I was flooded with HOPE and began to shake. What if I stood and faced down this beast—my fear of the unknown, that loomed in the East?

It then wouldn’t matter if I froze or I ran, for God’s earth has kept spinning since all time began. So I turned toward the darkness, no longer alone, and stepped in with arms reaching, as my soul searched for home.

And though the sun set behind me. I felt inner peace, for SUNRISE will soon meet me if,,,today I run East!
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Tomorrow I get an MRI, Chemo, and meet with an oncologist.

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Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Will miss dad, chemo fine

We had a good weekend around here. Well, I did have t0 spend all day at the hospital on Saturday getting chemo...but I didn't have any negative side effects. On Sunday, I did get out with my parents to the grocery store. Sounds funny that going to Cub Foods is a fun outing. But it was. My dad also wheeled me around the neighborhood before he goes back home to work tomorrow morning. He will be missed!

Did I ever tell you that my brother is a fast runner? Check him out here.

Walk for the Cure

Yesterday was the Race for the Cure. My Aunt Kathy, who is at the back of this photo, had all these shirts made for the approx. 20 people who walked for me. This is mostly my dad's side of the family.In this photo you'll see more of my mom's side of the family.

I am so thankful to everyone for their efforts.

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Yesterday was a great Mother's Day. I was able to get to church and go out to breakfast. Then my husband grilled me some great BBQ chicken. My husband also bought my mom and I "The Bullet." I just had a smoothie from it this morning, and it seemed to work well.

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I have an MRI today and tomorrow.

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Hebrews 12:1,.... and let us run with perseverence the race that is set before us

Fun with the Family

Yesterday was a fun day for our family. The weather was unseasonably warm...even reaching almost 50! So it was perfect snowman/play outside weather. Even I joined in the fun...mostly taking pictures, keeping hoods on, replacing wet gloves, and making sure Melvin and Cameron's snowballs weren't hitting Ella or Max!

The day started out, however, with Cameron's last basketball practice of the season.

And then we hung out as a family outside. Later, Cameron FINALLY lost one of his front teeth...and this morning a 2nd one (he looks so funny!). I will be posting a picture later this week.

It was so warm out, that my husband even grilled steaks! Now how awesome is he!

Our evening had a bittersweet ending. It was my mom's last night here. She will be so missed and I can't thank her enough! But it's time for her to go back to my dad and get back to her normal life. We're trying out "normal" life here for now. It won't be easy, but it's something we need to do. My mom will be back in a heartbeat if we need her. But for now, I'm counting on God's healing powers to keep me going strong and to be able to be the mom and wife I want/need to be.

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Luke 17:11-19 (New International Version)
Ten Healed of Leprosy 11Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a]met him. They stood at a distance 13and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!"
14When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed.
15One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.
17Jesus asked, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?" 19Then he said to him, "Rise and go; your faith has made you well."

More pics please

I guess I could call today a day of laziness.....or rest. Probably the latter would be a better term to use, but after seeing my friend Lanette off early this morning, I didn't get out of bed until long after the kids were at school.....thanks mom for getting them everywhere!

Today I saw my oncologist. Basically we're going with radiation until that is finished in a few weeks, then I think cut back over to the chemo again. I also need to go to physical therapy, so that we can get my right arm moving properly again. It's pretty odd to be looking at something and not to be able to move it as you'd like. I certainly would like for everything to move properly again, but I'll start with the arm.

Again, I'm so grateful for every one's time and help over these past months. I want to post some pics of the amazing Angel Benefit that my neighbors put on, so please feel free to forward them to me.

Below a picture of my family who came to visit (my husband, me, my brother from Indiana, my mom and dad from New Jersey and my aunt from New Jersey).

I've probably refered to it before, but today I felt let again to this psalm:

Psalm 118
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
2 Let Israel say: "His love endures forever."
3 Let the house of Aaron say: "His love endures forever."
4 Let those who fear the LORD say: "His love endures forever."
5 In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.
6 The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
7 The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.
8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.
9 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.
10 All the nations surrounded me, but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
11 They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
12 They swarmed around me like bees, but they died out as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
13 I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me.
14 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
15 Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: "The LORD's right hand has done mighty things!
16 The LORD's right hand is lifted high; the LORD's right hand has done mighty things!"
17 I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.
19 Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
20 This is the gate of the LORD through which the righteous may enter.
21 I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation.
22 The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone;
23 the LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
25 O LORD, save us; O LORD, grant us success.
26 Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD. From the house of the LORD we bless you. [a]
27 The LORD is God, and he has made his light shine upon us. With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession up [b] to the horns of the altar.
28 You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you.
29 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Them apples

This is the third time I'm writing this blog. I just don't want to be so negative. And everytime I wrote this weekend, I found myself being negative.

I think a lot of it has to actually to do with the radiation itself. I think all week it brings me down both physically, emotionally and mentally. It makes me foggy, makes me tired, makes me anxious.

So trying to do something simple like taking the kids to the Apple Orchard...with my mom, and husband doing everything while I just tagged along (even just sitting on a bench while the kids ran all around), can be very frustrating. Because I just don't think it should be so hard. Even last night, my husband and I finally got to go out together, to dinner and a concert. It really did take a lot of effort to stay up so "late" (past 9PM). This kind of stuff frustrates me. Because it's not my "normal" life. And I miss that. We all do.

However, by the time Sunday night came around this week, I finally felt normal. I cooked a real dinner, I gave my kids a bath, and I sat down to enjoy some Desperate Housewives...not fatigued at all.

Radiation starts all over tomorrow...so I'm just going to enjoy my Sunday night shows, while I still can.

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Ephes 1: 3-7
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. In love he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ, in accord with the favor of his will, for the praise of the glory of his grace that he granted us in the beloved. In him we have redemption by his blood, the forgiveness of transgressions, in accord with the riches of his grace that he lavished upon us. In all wisdom and insight, he has made known to us the mystery of his will in accord with his favor that he set forth in him as a plan for the fullness of times, to sum up all things in Christ, in heaven and on earth. In him we were also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the one who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will, so that we might exist for the praise of his glory, we who first hoped in Christ. In him you also, who have heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and have believed in him, were sealed with the promised holy Spirit, which is the first installment of our inheritance toward redemption as God's possession, to the praise of his glory.

Many happy faces

One of the many blessings of this battle I've been facing is the amazing people who have surrounded me with so much love, support, understanding, prayer, etc. I say it over and over again, but what else can I do. I am so incredibly thankful...whether you get a phone call or message from me or not. Your words, notes, thoughts, prayers, are so encouraging.

Our "angel" is our photographer Kathleen Smith. I wrote about her briefly a couple weeks back when she came to our house to photograph my family at the very last minute. After I had my surgery, I just felt like I needed to have some pictures of me with my kids before I lost all my hair again. Kathleen came right out that weekend to take photos at our home, and she came back to take more when it wasn't raining.

Not only does Kathleen do her own photography, but she also volunteers for the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation. She took photos for my friend Andrea when her son Nathaniel was born, and Kathleen has now blessed my family with her wonderful talents...which she again donated.

Below are just a few of her fabulous shots. I will try to create a link to the whole batch, if you're interested in seeing more.

Thank you Kathleen for your blessing to my family.

Until next year.

Another week down the shore has come and gone.

We did all the usual things: hung out at the beach, took the kids on the rides, ran on the boardwalk, ate ice cream at the "train place," had dinner with the entire extended family, went crabbing, rented bikes and road them on the boardwalk, went fishing, had a night out with my husband, stole coffee from my parents' house next door, played arcade games, hung out with my friend Lanette and her son, built some sandcastles, played miniature golf, visited with my grandparents, and had lots of help with the kids from my parents, sister and niece.

We did all that, and yet still, I feel like the week just flew, and we didn't really do anything.

I think it's because this time I didn't really get to do any shopping. And come on, what's a vacation without bringing home a couple new outfits, a few pairs of shoes and cool pieces of jewelry?

All content

6:30 PM on Saturday.

Cameron was outside playing football.

Max was in his room playing Lego Starwars on the computer.

Ella was watching Backyardigans on the big screen.

Melvin was playing Guitar Hero.

I was running on the treadmill.

Quality family time, don't ya think?

A good time

Cameron had off from school on Thursday and Friday, so Melvin took off work on Friday and is not on call Saturday or Sunday. We have deemed this weekend to be "Family Fun Weekend."

The kids decided that our family fun would begin on Friday at 5:30 AM, when Ella trotted into the boys room to wake them up...then waking me up.

After a very. long. morning. of puzzles, castles, TV and some flinging hard toys at each other mixed with kicking each other, then some time outs in bedrooms, Daddy finally woke up around 10:30, after spending all night at the hospital.

We settled into lunch and a game of Monopoly. Cameron rendered us bankrupt!

After some much needed naps all around, we headed to Block E in Minneapolis for some dinner, bowling and arcade games.

My mom used to be in a bowling league when I was a little girl, but said she couldn't remember when was the last time she bowled.

Still got it baby!

Cameron getting ready to bounce his ball off the bumpers.

Max getting a little help from Daddy.

Ella waiting her turn.

The winning form!

It is FINALLY supposed to stop raining today. Which means, along with probably the rest of the Twin Cities, we might head to the apple orchard (the one with the winery attached of course). The Family Fun continues!

Happy BD bro!

Happy Belated Birthday to my little brother...Scotty Potty. When he asked Cameron how old he thought he was, Cameron told him 16. Thirty-one is his actual age, but it doesn't surprise me that my son thought he was a teenager.

And today Cameron asked me if I had bought Uncle Scott the plane ticket to come visit us in Florida...which is apparently what he told Cameron he wanted for his birthday. I told him "No!" quite emphatically, as plane tickets are way too expensive.

Cameron's response, "But that's what he said he wanted, so you should buy it for him."

Interesting philosophy.

Happy 4th

Yesterday was a very busy Fourth of July, filled with a parade, swimming, BBQ at a friend's house, and fireworks!

In the morning we went to a small town parade. How small was it?

--The most decorated float looked like it had taken merely an hour (maybe) to decorate.
--I had no idea who the Grand Marshall was.
--There was not one single high school marching band.
--The parade actually went down one side of the street, did a U turn, and came back down the other side! And we’re talking a fairly narrow street.

But everyone was decked out in Red White and Blue, and the kids, especially Cameron, had a blast catching all the candy, freeze pops and beads that were thrown to the crowd. Ella was basically catatonic, needing a nap so bad, as she sat in her stroller watching the scene. And Max was so excited that he forgot that he had to go to the bathroom until he was actually doing it in his pants (as Melvin was holding him!). I had no extra shorts to change him. But Max didn’t care. He told me, “That’s okay, they’ll dry in the sun, Mommy!”

At night we lit a few of our own small fireworks but were completely upstaged by our neighbors, who shot off the Wisconsin “illegals.” Which actually was great, because then I didn’t feel guilty that I didn’t cart my kids out to some overcrowded, bug infested park at 10 PM for the loud display of fireworks the city put on. We could actually see them, although far away, from our neighborhood. So we just chilled out on the curb and oooed and ahhed close to home.

But the best part of the day was that Melvin did not have to work and was available. It was so wonderful doing the “family thing” for an entire day.