Details can be too much

The brain mapping was done this morning. It's sorta scary to think about the fact that they can map out my brain by simply having me tap my fingers over and over again, point out when I recognize a word and just stare at a red dot while black and white squares move up and down a screen. That's what they did for about an hour today. That's how they'll know where to cut and not cut when removing the tumor. Scary.

In the afternoon I had cranial teaching and prep. Basically they took a few vials of blood and had me answer a bunch of medical questions that I've answered a million times already. Then this wonderful nurse went over everything they were going to do from presurgery to post-op. They're actually going to drill holes in my head, lift up part of my skull, and get at the tumor. I can't even grasp my mind around this. The nurse kept asking if I had any questions, but in actuality, I just don't. The only thing I can think of is...do what you gotta do. Get it out. I'll be here. Just do whatever. I feel quite distanced from the whole ordeal right now. It's the only way I can deal with it. It's just not something I want to think about really.

The actual surgery could last six hours. My brain could be exposed for six hours! See why I can't even think about this! Whenever I try to even begin to write about it, I go blank, and I don't want to write about anything else anymore.

I think I'll use the Olympics to distract me right now.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not to thine own under standing. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6