Surgery Recap, plus 2 monkeys and a ninja

I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 AM as scheduled. After I got all settled with checking in and putting on my hospital attire and such, they had to draw blood, put an IV in me etc. As what often happens, there were problems finding a vein and I had to be poked a few times.

Next, I had to have my blood platelets checked...as they were low earlier that week. (As I always say, I'm not medical, so half my medical information could be wrong. Plus, I feel the brain radiation or tumor has been doing quite the number on my shortterm memory, so that doesn't help my inability to explain things correctly either.) But anyhow, I do believe the blood platelets have something to do with blood clotting. So if they were to cut into my head, it would be important to have the correct number of platelets so I wouldn't bleed all over. One thing that could bring my platelets down would be certain medication...like the Celebrex I had been taking. Although I had stopped taking it as soon as I found out I was having the surgery, I really needed to stop it sooner.

So when I was tested again surgery morning, the platelets were not up to par. Therefore, they were going to have to do a transfusion of platelets. Which ended up being a bigger ordeal because they were giving me platelets for A+ blood, but I am B+ (or maybe I'm B-). Regardless, they had the wrong blood type dripping in my IV. My dear husband had to call several places, including his own clinic to find out if it was okay for me to proceed with the transfusion. It was ridiculous, and I have to say I was very disappointed in this hospital with regards to this, and I began to think that maybe this was a sign that the surgery shouldn't be done. It took awhile for it to be verified that for platelets, it's okay if the blood types aren't the same, as long as I don't have more than a few bags of them. Which would not be a problem if there were no major complications.

After waiting for the transfusion and the retesting, and more poking, it was discovered that my platelets went up some, but not as much as the doctors wanted. By this time, my surgeon had started his other surgery. And I was in A LOT of pain. I couldn't eat or drink anything,...no coffee.....and the pain meds that they were putting in my IV would only work for about 5 or 10 minutes, more or less just giving me a little anxiety relief, not really taking away the pain in my neck, back, arms, head, just lessening it some. But then the pain would quickly come back.

All the while I'm just waiting for test results and such surrounding this blood issue. It was then decided that I would have another transfusion of platelets, which they would start right away as I was being taken back to the operating room. So at around 3:30, a new anesthesiologist came out to tell me that he was taking over, since the other one was now off duty....that's how long it had been. They still had other prep to do, so the testing and such would be done while I was in the OR, sedated and out of pain. Actually, just before they wheeled me out, they administered me some medicine to "help me relax" as they put it, and relax I did. Before I even got to the OR, I was knocked out. Finally!

At this point my mom, who had joined us at the hospital, went home to take Max and Ella trick or treating. (Thanks Katie for taking Cameron). My husband and dad stayed at the hospital until my surgery was over....or something like that.

I don't really remember too much directly after surgery. I was sent to the ICU, but honestly, I didn't need to be there. My nurse Ruth was very surprised at all that I was able to do. Any pain that I had was gone....the morphine worked quite well. And my sweet husband had brought me a Caramel Machiato, so I had my caffeine fix that I so very needed. I was up on and off all night, but that's normal for me these days. And that gave the opportunity to talk to my nurse a little read some scripture to lift my spirits and give me hope for healing.

After some confusion, especially since it is very rare for someone to be discharged from the ICU, I was finally able to come home after lunch.

I was able to go to church today, and but also spent a lot of the day resting. My dad went home this morning back to New Jersey, but my mom is still here. I am so grateful that my dad was able to be here for the surgery, and so thankful for all my mom's continued help.

Now tomorrow, they do the first round of chemotherapy. I'm actually going to a new chemo place, with a new oncologist. That makes me a little nervous, because I liked my old oncologist. But I just couldn't bring myself to go back to the chemo area. I had written on my blog when I first started chemo over a year ago how chaotic the environment was. And I just felt like I needed something more relaxing, especially considering all my anxiety issues. The chemo regiment I'm receiving is basically the same one suggested by my first oncologist, so I just felt like I needed to make this change now...although I do feel bad leaving my other doctor.

The chemo administration is not supposed to take long. They'll just inject it into the little "bubble" that you can't even see under the skin of my head. I am nervous about the process though. Please pray with me that this chemo works. Everyday I seem to get a new symptom of my worsening condition, so we need for this chemo to kick in and do it's job....pronto! God gave the knowledge for these medical advancements so we know they can work!

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers, desserts, meals, cards, well wishes, help with the kids, patience with me, etc. I am so grateful that God had placed you all in my life.

First John 5: 14, 15 (be confident in your prayers)

Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

Scared

I finished my radiation on my spine today....yeah!!!! It's actually kinda bitter sweet. I am so happy that I won't be treking back and forth daily for my treatment..and I'm sure my dad, and especially my mom, are happy they don't have to drive me anymore. But my radiation therapists were so nice and fun that I'll miss not seeing them. They really did make the experience so much better than it probably could have been and I am so grateful for that.

Like I said yesterday, I'm scheduled for surgery on Friday. I don't think I ever wrote much about my surgery and time in the hospital when they did the craniotomy. It was very traumatic for me. At one point I seriously thought they were going to send me to the psychiatric ward. Being in ICU with so many people coming in and out of the room just injecting me with stuff for pain and whatever else made me so incredibly scared. And then when they moved me to a regular room, I couldn't get up and do anything, even go to the bathroom, without balling my eyes out. Any kind of change caused me so much anxiety I would just burst into tears. I've NEVER been like that, and it was the scariest thing for me. (okay, I lie. I've burst into tears on several occasions for no good reason...just ask my husband...I'm an emotional girl...but this was totally different) Which is why when the doctors started talking about opening my head again, I immediatly thought, NO WAY. But now, it's really inevitable.

My symptoms have been getting worse. It's ridiculous how fast this cancer grows. I have even more in my spine now. I'm just in disbelief. I should have had my surgery last week, but we were still considering our options and I just wasn't comfortable with it. I couldn't shake off my prior experience. This surgery is supposed to be much easier and less invasive. But that doesn't mean I'm not still just as nervous about the entire process. So please pray that my anxiety doesn't surface again and that all goes well. Surgery starts at 7AM Friday morning...I go in at 5AM. It should last a couple hours and then I'll be in the hospital at least one more day...possibly two. Then chemo should start on Monday. I don't know what to expect with that yet, but I should find out when I visit another oncologist tomorrow. I also have a brain MRI tomorrow as well.

I'm sad that I won't get to take the kids Trick or Treating....or at least be at the door to hand out candy. But they'll still get to go. We have enough people around to get them out there to collect all their goodies. But I was thinking that it's also too bad I'm not going to be home halloween night for trick or treaters for another reason. With my scar in the back of my head, my new scar I'll have in the front, my bald head...man, I'd have a killer costume!

Psalm 69:32 The humble will seek their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God's help be encouraged.

Patience...here is the halloween picture.

Here we are in our Halloween habits.

I bet many of you have no idea who my kids are.

Honestly, I don't know anything about who Cameron is. I think it's someone from Star Wars. The character name is Bubba Fett. I spent way too much money for this costume...that went on sale 2 days later...went on a "clearance sale"...which means I couldn't get a price adjustment. And Cameron was REALLY mad at me because I made him put on a jacket, which meant "no one will see how cool my costume is!"

Max and Ella are characters from The Backyardigans. This is a show on Nickelodeon, with these little animal friends who hang out in their backyard, making up adventures, singing almost every word, and doing lots of little dances. Ella and Max (Ella especially) love this show. She is Uniqua, who I think might be a salamander, and Max is Pablo, a penguin.

I, of course, am a witch. I figure my kids think I'm that most days anyhow, so it wasn't much of a stretch.

Not a costume...really

Yesterday, Max's preschool had a Halloween party. Since my mom and Sara have been doing the pickup and drop-off lately, none of the parents know me, nor do they know that I have cancer.

Because Max wanted me to (not because it's Halloween), I wore the pink wig to drop Max off. One parent who was walking out with me asked, "Are you Britney Spears?"

"Um, no," I said somewhat unsure of how I should respond.

"Well, didn't she wear a wig like that when she shaved her head?"

Right then, I wish I would have totally freaked her out by pulling off my wig and then saying, "Well, I guess I am Britney!" to reveal my bald noggin.

I didn't though. Instead, I just said that I wasn't sure, and continued on to my car.

That would have been a good one though.

And as I sit here tonight giving out candy, with a very spooky set-up outside, I'm tempted to really scare those little kiddos by answering the door bald.

I wonder how many would run off screaming then!

Happy Halloween!