Sometimes it's hard to be happy
This message won't be long because I've just been down in the dumps lately. I think it's because this week, I've been having pain again...in my head, in my shoulders, down my spine. All the areas that were so concerning before. And when I have these aches, I'm just so crabby, because the Tylenol doesn't do much to relieve my pain. And I think I start to become fearful that the cancer is growing.
I've also been really tired. I walk up the stairs, and I want to just lie down and take a nap. I thought being off the chemo this week was going to make it easier, but it hasn't.
Also, I think I've been down because my fear is that the doctor is going to do some tests and tell me that I need radiation again. Such treatment was daily and I had to plan my whole day around it. I just don't want to do it anymore.
Tomorrow, my husband and I meet with my oncologist. I pray that all is well and I'm just being ridiculous about it all. I so want to be healed....so badly.
Sorry I'm not so chipper today.
Lord, please help me to see the good around me and not dwell on the pain or or what might be happening inside my body. I am surrounded by helpful people that the Lord had brought into my life and for that I am so thankful. Allow me to accept Your healing power and have confidence in Your work. Confidence that you will rebuke this cancer and bring nothing but joy into this household. In Jesus name, Amen.
"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." (Mark 11:24)
"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16)