Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Monday, November 12, 2007

So this weekend I finally wore one of my wigs. Couldn’t really show up at my Mother-in-law’s wedding with a scarf on my head. So I donned the fake do.

I hated it.


The entire time I was so self-conscious, and was in tears before I even left the hotel room. I think partly it was anxiety because I was going to see a lot of people from my husband’s family whom I hadn’t seen since all this started and I knew everyone was going to be asking how I was feeling. Also because the wig just looked horrible. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin I just wanted to crawl under one of the tables and hang out there until the affair was over.

As the night went on, and I found myself distracted with my kids and other relatives, I felt better. Even though it still felt to me like I had to some Halloween costume on, I was able to at least smile a little bit. Even when people took pictures.

(Here I am with Cameron, Max and one of my nieces, Ajah)

So I wrote the above blog this morning, and then later on I went to the grocery store. While there, an older lady working one of the “sample stations”, who was obviously wearing a wig, saw me in my scarf-head and stopped me to tell me that she had cancer and to give me some words of encouragement. I thought maybe she was going through chemo now, but she told me she had it awhile ago, when the drugs were different. And that poor lady never got her hair back. But she said she was just thankful to God that she’s even alive.

What a beautiful attitude she had. One I should try to adopt.

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At 10:51 PM, Blogger Jumper 2.0 said...

"One I should adopt"

No offense Cari but give yourself a break. ANYbody going through what you are going through has felt the same way. I doubt that this wonderful lady was any crazier about her wig the first however many times she used it.

I am glad that she was there for you though. Great timing!

And you look beautiful

and strong!

At 6:03 AM, Blogger Fantastic Four said...

You look great and the wig looks great ("natural"). What great words of encouragement when you are so down! Take care! Traci

At 6:55 AM, Anonymous Jaye said...

I have to agree, the wig looks great - your boys look so handsome, you look good and your niece is a cutie.

I love how God works in people to encourage us and lift us up. That lady in the store was there just for you! You will have doubts, worries and fears, but just cast them to God and let Him take care of them (and you)! He's there for you (and so are we!).

I have to say truthfully, that the pictures I've seen of you since you started chemo look really good! Meaning, YOU look really good! Work those wigs, girl!

Love & hugs!

At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, I think the wig looks great, but I can understand how difficult it must be to wear it.
I think it's so cool that this women was in the right place at the right time and said just what you needed to hear.

Remember- You're beautiful with hair, no hair, scarf, wig, whatever!!

At 8:28 AM, Blogger wiferhood said...

I thought you looked great. The wig did not look like a wig at all. It was great to see you smiling and laughing. I know it was hard for you but we love you no matter what.

You are still Cari. The Cari that encourages others, makes others laugh, has a heart of gold, and an unmatched sincerity that is geniune and pure.

You are a beautiful person on the inside so that makes you beautiful on the outside. Keep your head head. I am proud of your strength and to be your cousin.

At 9:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

and yes people, that look on my sister's face is actually a smile...i promise.


At 8:36 PM, Anonymous Kate said...

I have to agree with Tim; you need to stop beating yourself up over this. You have much to be thankful for and I can understand the feeling of 'poor me' as I have been there with my own health issues. We never really know God's plan, but in the darkness, if we listen intently enough, we can hear His voice. He is never far, He is never gone. He will never leave you. Lean not on your own understanding. God doesn't see anything but His child.

You looked terrific, by the way. And your kids are as adorable as ever.

At 1:03 AM, Blogger Caro said...

You look beautiful in your wig.

When do we get to see a pic of you in the pink one?


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