Deport me!

Now that all my tests were clear, I can pretty much be assured that I won't be needing any chemo in the near future. So tomorrow (Wednesday) I get this ugly portacath removed.

It was great when I had it because my veins weren't ruined with all the needle pricks, and I could use numbing cream on it so that I never felt any pain. But it sure was ugly, looking like some deformed bone protruding from my body. Plus, when I would carry Ella when she was throwing a fit, she'd often push on the area of my port, causing discomfort and sometimes extreme pain.

To "deport" me, I have to undergo anesthesia, for a short 15 minute operation. Because they're knocking me out, I had to have a pre-op appointment today to make sure I'm healthy enough for the surgery. All was fine, except my blood pressure was a little low, and my white blood cell count was low as well. This is concerning, and something I need to check on with my oncologist, but not something that will prevent me from having the surgery.

I "go under" very early in the morning, so I'm hoping that by the afternoon, I'll be back to my normal self, and able to check off another task on my Kill Cancer To Do List.

It's quite the process

My visit with my plastic surgeon on Friday went okay.

Here is a very brief explanation of the process of reconstruction.

First I will have a surgery where on my right side they will do a preventative mastectomy, then use some special skin stuff (technical term of course) to create more space and insert a spacer. On the left side, where I've already had a mastectomy and radiation, they will have to take muscle from my back, flip it around to the front and insert a spacer.

A few weeks after the surgery (which will be very painful by the way), I will return to the doctor's office to start getting "filled up." Every couple weeks or so, I will have saline injections into my spacers, which will stretch the skin. I will keep doing this until I'm the size I want to be...or until my body can't take it anymore. (I don't have to tell them a size from the beginning. I can decide when I get to where I want to be).

When I'm all enhanced, I will have the filled up spacers in for a few months. Then I'll have another surgery where they'll replace the spacers with implants.

Then I have to have nipples made and tattoos put on.

Now doesn't that all sound like so much fun?

So the good news is, I'm not a hopeless cause.

The bad news is, the soonest I can have the surgery is the first week in November! And considering the recovery period, the doctor was encouraging me to wait until after the holidays.

That seems SO LONG away!

Plus, I was uneasy about some other issues they brought up as well. For one, I'm not going to look symmetrical. They said the goal is to look symetrical under my clothing. But because I'll have the muscle flap on my left side, and some skin flap thing on my right side, my actual breasts will not look the same. And on my left side, I'll have some huge football-shaped scar across my breast. I didn't realize this.

If I had known this before, I might have opted to have the complete mastectomy and spacers put in from my initial surgery back in September. At the time, my general surgeon and my plastic surgeon both advised me not to have the spacers put in until after radiation...as there can be risks with the radiation negatively affecting the spacer. I was so spooked and naive about the entire experience that I just did whatever they advised. However, I've heard of several people recently who had all of it done immediately, and then had radiation after. Thus, there was no need for any muscle flaps to be used, and they'd look symetrical, without any football-shaped or lopsided scaring.

So I left the doctor's office a little uneasy.

But hey, at least they can do something.

Construction Consultation

I have a consult with my plastic surgeon tomorrow. I already met with her when I was first diagnosed with cancer. But I had NO CLUE about anything at that point. This time I feel a little more educated about the process, and my husband is coming with me. Our plan is still to have a preventative right mastectomy and complete reconstruction.

At this point I want to know two things:

1. When can I get this surgery done? They originally told me 4 to 6 months after radiation was completed...when I was completely healed. Personally, I'd like to have it done tomorrow...but we know that's not happening.

2. What size can I be? I personally think a size C would just be the perfect"gift" for enduring all this other cancer crap. My greatest fear is that she'll look at my mastectomy side and see that there is no way in hell my skin will stretch to accomodate anything larger than a mosquito bite. Or worst yet, there's nothing at all that they can do, and I'll be destined to wear mastectomy swimsuits for the rest of my life.

Oh, there is one more thing I'd like to know:

3. Do you have any package deals? Cause I'm thinking that while I'm under the knife and going to be enduring a whole bunch of pain for a while, I might as well deal with it all at once. I'm sure they have some "specials." Like a nose job, liposuction and boob job bundle for just one low price. And then maybe some free Botox thrown in if you sign up that day. I better go online and see if I can find some coupons!