Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Monday, September 24, 2007

More reactions

The kids continue to react to my cancer in different ways.

Ella of course has no clue what is going on. She pulls and prods and pushes and throws tantrums in my arms, without any knowledge of the physical pain she is inflicting on me. The other day she was mad about something (can’t remember what now), and that little lady walked straight across the room on a mission…to hit me! That landed her in the “naughty corner,” which she promptly escaped from, knowing that I can’t physically keep her there. When she is hurting me, I do try to remind her of my oweee, and if it’s a rare occasion when she’s not in her almost-2-year-old-I-want-everything-my-way-state, she’ll even point to me and say, “Owee!”

Cameron doesn’t really say much. But a couple people have given me kid’s books about cancer. And without me even trying to force reading time on him, he voluntarily picked up the book and asked if I’d read it to him. So I can tell that he’s interested, but just doesn’t really know what to ask.

My little Max seems to appear the most affected. I wrote about how he was spooked at the hospital, and even when I came home. He’s ALWAYS including me in his prayers…at dinner time when he prays, he says something in a very jumbled way about making my cancer go away and making me feel better. He often asks about my oweee, and asks if it’s feeling better. He’s also very clingy lately, and often wants me to hold him or has to be near me. Today, when I was hanging out with him and Ella on the swing set, he remarked out of the blue, “Mommy, you’re going to be a boy, when your hair falls out.” That made me laugh. And I tried to explain that I’ll still be a girl, and the same person, but he insisted that No, I’ll be a boy.

It’ll be interesting to see how they all react when I’m actually bald.

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At 6:03 AM, Blogger Fantastic Four said...

Thanks again for taking the boys to soccer. Let me know if I can help out at all in the near future!

When do you start chemo? Let us know so that we can help when needed! I can help with the kids and stuff- Felicity would love playmates.

At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Jaye said...

Your Max is a sensitive little soul! I've been praying for him, too (as well as you, of course, and the rest of the family!), since he is the one who is most affected of your children. He'll be your protector when he gets older, from what I can see now. What a sweetheart - I got farklempt reading about him praying for you. Love & hugs!

At 8:01 AM, Blogger Kimberly said...

Seems like Max might benefit from helping to give mommy a hair cut in the kitchen before the hair is noticiably falling out. ?? Although, that's a very weird thing to do in and of itself, give mommy a haircut! *lol* Something probably 99.9% of mom's NEVER have their kids do in their LIFETIMES! :) Might be kind of fun and a good way to ease into the shock of being without hair.

At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Beth said...

Hi Cari,

I met you in Dr. Harrington's office about a month ago. I have been thinking of you a lot ever since we exchanged names/numbers. I was relieved to find out from Brenda (V.) that you were recovering well from sugery. I'm sorry to hear about the ongoing nerve pain. I hope the meds are helping. I've read a little of your story--you are really a riot. Your writing is so funny. You are right, you need to laugh about this. I just wanted to let you know that I am now a "mutant 1-boobed creature" (as of Sunday) so don't feel alone. I just went to Nordstrom's today for my new $600 industrial-strength over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder! Yes, I am going backwards. When I saw you I think I had a nice set of small b's. Now I have a small A and a negative A and a JP Drain coming out of my chestwall. No more pain, so it is funny. I would love to help out when you start your chemo. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. Good luck with your continued battle. My prayers are with you and your family.

At 6:07 PM, Blogger mi said...

It's amazing how 3 kids coming from the same 2 parents can be so different. It's obvious that you already know what each one needs. This is tough for them as well. It really just shows you how loved you really are. As sad as it is to see them struggle through this, take as a credit to your wondeful mothing skills.


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