Treatment change and continue
It has been a series of highs and lows around here, that's just the honest truth. Sometimes I'm fine just hanging out with my kids, but other times I'm sad. Actually lately, things have felt worst than better. The weakness/paralysis is really bringing me down emotionally. There's a lot I can't do now, or that is very difficult..like even putting on a shirt. Having to rely on anyone for such a basic need makes me cry. And I know that my flip/flop attitude is driving my family crazy.
Like now. I was a blubbering mess earlier. Then a neighbor came over to tell me about all these people involved with the benefit and all the donations being made and interest being generated for the Angel Foundation.....and I feel good and happy again. Still loopy and confused about a lot, but not depressed.
Anyhow, back to the medical plan.
After the results of the latest MRI, it was decided that I would have radiation down my spine again where I didn't have it before. This at first was to be in addition to the pill chemotherapy, But this morning that game plan even changed. Basically, due to the toxicity of the situation, I'm only having radiation now.
So let me recap for myself. I had surgry to have the Omyya resevoir put in, which would drip chemo directly onto my brain. Although the surgery was done, and I've had one injection, we're not going to continue with it until we have to. That includes the lumbar puncture that I was going to have to endure once a month as well. Don't ask me to explain....I have no idea. And now the regular oncologist is taking the advice of my radiation oncologist of stopping all chemo until radiation is done...which is daily for about 3 weeks...minus weekends. Is your head spinning yet?
Again, I'm just so thankful I have so many people around helping me figure it all out.
More family, friends and other visitors coming in tonight through this weekend. Looking forward to seeing everyone....hopefully with a clear mind and all my necessary physical plumbing in working order!!!!!...believe it or not, I'm not joking.
(I'm "stealing" my bible verse from my cousin Dayna today because I really like it, and I'm excited about her new job offer. She really stepped out in faith and is an inspiration to me.)
"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20 The Message
posted by Undomestic @ 2:35 PM
5 Comments:
Cari,
Please know how very much you are in our thoughts and prayers. You are an inspiration – your strength, perspective and attitude are nothing short of amazing. All of us from Maplewood are very much with you, and we are all looking forward to Saturday. Andrea
Cari
I am your Aunt Maria youngest sister. I am amazed at your strength and faith, I was mailed your blog by Michelle asking for prays for you and there was a link to your blog. Not only do i pray everyday now i so much enjoy the scrips you add to your blog. It has brought so much faith back into my life I thank you for that. Most of all I do feel something good is going to happen for you soon. Your children are beautiful.
Perception is amazing. You admire my faith and I admire yours. I have told so many people how you continue to stand on God's promises and your amazing journey of faith. You may not think you are amazing but you are. The mere fact that you are writing blog entries is a testament of God's goodness, mercy and love.
Walking by faith is not easy. It's a fight. It's tough to get up and function when your body doesn't want to. It tough to see through the situation to promise of God.
"[But we must] do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching."
Hebrews 10: 22-25 The Message
We love you :~D
You have so many smart people working on your team.
I am sure you'll have fun with your company.
I'm going to NCTE next week. I think your y.a. goddess blogger will be there. I'll try to check out her talk.
love 2 u,
lee
Cari-
I'm stopping by to give you another virtual hug! It sounds like not getting a monthly lumbar puncture is a good thing. I hope the treatments you are receiving kick in soon and you start feeling better.
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