New Chemo
I took my new chemo today...Xeloda...it's a pill kind. I can only pray that it works and doesn't add to my side effects....especially my diminishing mental capacity. It's hard for me to even type this message. I can't seem to keep my train of thought. I know I'm repeating things. A simple question can set me in tears. I need to get this under control. I can also just stare at this screen trying to decide what to do. Or I can be totally fine.
I really want to be upbeat and happy and with all the good that is going on. And not erase this message for the 5th time because I worry about how it sounds. Today is going to be a good day. It is.
Labels: cancer
posted by Undomestic @ 5:31 PM
12 Comments:
I hope it is a good day, Cari, and that your mind clears. Peace to and prayers for you.
I pray the new pill does wonders and helps to clear your mind.
You have a husband, children and a very large circle of friends who are praying for you. How can it not be a good day.
thinking of you....
Be gentle with yourself, Cari...
let your thoughts come as slowly as they need to....
I agree - be gentle with yourself and love that body and brain of yours even if it is slower these days.
Heck, I am not close to where you are and I cant even keep a train of thought or write a comprehensive post.
this post sounds just fine to me. thinking of you every day.
praying today will be a good day for you.
Cari -Again, I am a friend of Dana's from Chicago..I often think of the kind of help people can give others when they are sick or worried or sad...And I think the greatest gift is permission. I hope that if I find myslef in need someday - that those around me just say it's okay. It's okay to be sad, mad, confused...to just accept my feelings..SO I am giving you permission to just be - don't worry about words or impressions or anything else - Just be!
I was in the middle of third graders on Friday, in the middle of a sentence and all of a sudden I said... What was I just saying? Thankfully, one kid was actually paying attention to me and got me back on track!
Cari,
Go easy on yourself. Your brain is really working very hard at healing your body. Accept that process, and the fact that this is temporary. Live in the moment and try to enjoy what is before you, such as your wonderful family and friends. Feel those hugs and kisses from your husband and children and know that you are doing your very best.
Susan was up-until-recently using Xeloda, and she was able to manage the side effects really well. Just make sure you take it 1/2 hour after eating, and really be careful of acidic foods.
By the way, you may feel like you're scatterbrained, but you're still coming off entirely cogent.
I admire you for how well you're coping with this.
Thinking of you - and hoping you are feeling that brain is working a bit better today.
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