Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fine, I'll just write it.

Let me preface this message by saying that everything I’m about to write is from the scientific, medical viewpoint. I personally am not banking on this. I know that the Lord can heal. I know that the Lord will heal. Now really, with 3 adorable kids like this, how could You not heal their mom? So as you read the factual stuff below, please don’t think I’ve given up. Please don’t think I’m doubting a positive outcome. Please don’t think I’ve lost hope. I haven’t. But we do need to pray for complete healing from our Lord. I so want to see His miracle. I just think that would be such an amazing story to tell!

Now with all that said, this is not an easy post to write. Not because it’s all news to me… but really because I feel bad for my friends and family who have to read this. However, I really am not going to put it off any longer.

When I first was diagnosed with a brain tumor, I had looked up a study at the Mayo Clinic that basically said when the breast cancer goes to the brain, there’s basically a few months to a little over a year life expectancy for the patient.

My husband did not like that I had found that article (that he had already read). He said that wasn’t my case. My tumor was confined and the tumors in the article may not have been and involved other issues as well. And so they took the tumor out…and we thought all would be well.

Then we found out it’s not all gone, and from the time of the surgery to the scan right after radiation started, the brain tumor had started to grow. Which is why you do brain radiation anyhow, to get all the “leftover” tumor. So we were hoping the brain radiation would stop/slow the growth of the tumor. As long as it wasn’t in the spine, we were fine. If it was in the spine, then that would be really bad. But mine wasn’t. So it was good.

But then it was in the spine. So that “rosier” picture of “at least it’s not…” has now disappeared. And the reality is that none of this is good…at all.

And considering how everything else is going, who knows if the cancer is now in my bone or what. Seems like every other week it’s something different. I can’t believe how crazy fast this cancer is spreading.

Asking the doctors recently if they knew anyone in my situation who had a favorable outcome, and they sadly, but honestly, tell me no. The treatments now are about buying time. If we do nothing, we’re talking weeks. If we do something, well, months. We’re looking at a few different chemotherapies. Some are oral, some drip directly onto the brain, some are injected into the spine. Some are a combination of all of them. My husband and I are going down to Mayo again tomorrow to discus options.

Again, I’m not expecting such a gloom and doom outcome. I’m expecting greatness! So please join me in doing so. And because so many people have asked...of course you may put me on your prayer lists...no permission needed there!

Ephesians 6: 10-18
In conclusion, be strong in the Lord; draw your strength from Him. Put on God’s whole armor, that you may be able successfully to stand up against the strategies and the deceits of the devil. For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood, but against despotisms, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly sphere. Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day, and, having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God. And having shod your feet in preparation of the Gospel of peace. Lift up over all the shield of saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit wields, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit, with prayers and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf off all the saints.

Labels: , ,


At 8:25 PM, Blogger Fantastic Four said...

Oh Cari- I really needed your hug tonight because it was good to see you and the news about my mom! You will beat this so that we can do the 3 Day Walk in 2009!!!

My thoughts are always of you, your family, and your health. You are such a wonderful person! We continue to pray for you and think about you all day and night! The boys were even praying for you on the way home from TKD tonight (this was started by them on their own). Please let me know if there is anything else we can do for you and your family.

At 8:35 PM, Anonymous Maddy said...

You're right. The children are gorgeous and you can fight it through. You're in my prayers [and I don't often say that because I'm sure my hot line to the Big G is a bit feeble.]
BEst wishes as always

At 8:35 PM, Blogger mi said...

As always I admire your frankness and faith. I wish so much that this was not your journey. It seems so unfair that you are being tested this way. However, as mere mortals we have no control over such things. Enjoy every day as if it were your last, because in 50years you will look back on a beautiful, long life.

At 9:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cari-You have been in my thoughts for a long time. We dont know each other, I received an email prayer request Aug 07. I read your blog off and on and then after a period of not keeping up- Aug 08 I pulled you up. I have prayed for you and your wonderful family and friends since then. Just short and brief- I wanted you to know you are in my prayers

At 9:50 PM, Blogger cg said...

I like what mi said and that is so true. Sometimes we walk journeys that we would have never thought and dont deserve. I pray for you and your family for peace as you work together to find the right treatment. And I will believe with you that your story will become a miracle to enspire faith in others as well.

At 10:12 PM, Blogger unzen said...

Cari, I am sorry about how fast this cancer is growing. I hope God can give you peace with what ever is the plan. Your kids are so cute. Thanks for update as you have been in my thoughts every day. I pray for your whole family.

At 10:30 PM, Blogger Kimberly said...

By His wounds you are healed, Cari. Whether we see it on this earth or it happens at His side in Heaven, you are whole. You are complete. You are healed.

At 10:30 PM, Blogger Jaye said...

James 5:15-16 (Amplified Bible)
Amplified Bible (AMP)

"And the prayer [that is] of faith will save him who is sick, and the Lord will restore him; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."

We are continually praying for and with you. God is THE Healer.

Luke 1:37
For with God nothing shall be impossible.

We love you!

At 10:39 PM, Blogger Angela's Kitchen said...

I and the kiddos are praying, praying, praying... I love you, hon.

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Shannon said...

I've been thinking so much of you, Melvin and the kids. I will continue to pray for healing, for peace, for understanding, and that you feel His presence.

At 10:52 PM, Blogger IrishMommy said...

God knows your pain, sorrow, hopes and dreams. I have faith that He is the maker of miracles and will heal you! We are all praying for you, my dear friend.

At 11:04 PM, Blogger Leo And Stellas Dad said...

Cari- You been through so much already , this is unbelievable . Your a Strong person , a fighter, u dont know what it is to quit..And i admire you for that ,and so do many others besides me. You and your family will be in our prayers , best wishes to you

At 11:24 PM, Blogger KC said...

Of course I will join you in faith, hope, and prayer.

At 11:39 PM, Blogger The Tomlin Family said...

Many strong prayers for miracles and intense positive healing thoughts are coming your way! Those three absolutely precious faces are the very reason to believe in the power of healing. I follow your blog and think of you often. Many (((hugs))) coming from another total stranger here. Every little bit will help....

Jess Tomlin

At 11:56 PM, Blogger Rachel said...


We've never met, but I admire your faith and your strength.

I'm praying for you.

At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Kathy said...


Please know that everyone I know in Maple Shade is praying for you on a constant basis. Thank you for being you. It is quite the honor to be your Aunt. Pat, Kathleen, John and I will continue to pray for your complete recovery.

God Bless You!!!
The Bakers

At 7:50 AM, Anonymous funkyhammer said...

My family and I are praying like crazy for you!!!

At 8:06 AM, Anonymous blair tate said...

God bless you and your family Cari. I am sending prayers of healing, strength and faith your way.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger Andrea said...

I'm praying for the docotrs to find the right treatment plan for you, for healing and for peace for you and your family.
Love you,

At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

cari, We are continually praying for you....

I release my faith now that Cari is healed. She is redeemed from the curse of the law, she is free from the curse of sickness and disease. No weapon formed against her shall prosper. Jesus died so that we might have life and have it more abundantly. He died on the cross, he took all of her sicknesses and infirmities, he carried all her diseases, by his
stripes she is healed. She is made whole, there is nothing missing,
nothing broken, nothing lacking in her. Her body works in the perfection you created it to work in. Her body, its cells and functions fall under the dominion of your word, God. Her body will not rebel in chaos or disruption, but fall in line with your word God. You are the final authority
here and you word is true. We will look to you and not this situation, your child is whole, redeemed and healed. All things we ask your name, Amen


At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Bill Lucken said...

Go Bless You Cari

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Jana said...

I'm praying diligently for the miracle that you and your family so deserve.

At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Cari!:

I almost cried reading this (almost)but you have enough optimism, faith and courage to sustain yourself and everyone else! I love you and I am so proud of your spirit and faith. As usual you, Max and the kids are in my prayers.

Love you much,
Auntie Nita

At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Tracy Family said...

Cari, we are thinking of you everyday,our thoughts and prayers go out to You, Melvin and the kids..we are sending our Love from California.
All our Love,
Your Cousin Doug, Sandy, Alexis and Lake

At 12:45 PM, Blogger C said...

We are speechless Cari.
Ryan and I continue to hold you & Melvin in our prayers and send you many positive thoughts for healing.
Many hugs, Ryan & Carina

At 3:49 PM, Blogger Sarah said...


We have never met, but I have been reading your blog for quite some time.

Your strength and faith are truly inspirational. I'm praying for you and your beautiful family.


At 5:06 PM, Blogger Caro said...

Cari - If anybody deserves a miracle it is you and your wonderful family. I can tell I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's obvious by the many comments you are loved by all.

At 6:08 PM, Blogger LH said...

People here in the home of your IU alma mater are praying for and with you. You have a lot of readers and supporters down here, my dear.
Much love to you and your fam, Lee

At 8:53 PM, Blogger AnnD said...

Thinking of you.

Your challenges make me appreciate every moment I have - and for that I am forever grateful.

Prayers from me.

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Charlene said...

I have heard much about you from my good friend, Carla. I knew your sister, Dana when she lived in Indiana. I want you to know that I am going to say a special prayer for you at communion on Sunday. May God bless you and your family.

At 10:29 PM, Anonymous amy kelly said...

Hi Cari-We have just talked about the boys (and of course Ella)--wondering if "Cameron and Max" can come swimming again??? Of course we closed the pool today... (to not know the change of seasons, temperature, etc....to be the simplistic minds of children!!) Kris and I are praying sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much right now. We are optimistic, and we are thinking of you all!
the breien's

At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aunt Trisha and Uncle Denny send our love and prayers out to you and your family. Please know that you are in our thoughts every day.
God bless you and your family.
Love you!


Post a Comment

<< Home