Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Monday, October 06, 2008


Although radiation really drains me, something things are better.....much better.

I don't have those horrible, unbearable headaches anymore. They seemed to go away when I started the steroids again, but the past couple nights I haven't taken my evening steroid, just to see what would happen. The headaches did not return. So I'm assuming that the growing tumor (that we thought was gone), is shrinking with the radiation. Of course I don't know this for sure, but it makes sense, and it makes me feel good.

I also was prayed over at church last Sunday by our pastor Greg Boyd and other members. I had a lot of anxiety over this concept of "healing" because you hear so many different stories....if you just believe you'll be healed, it will happen...if you believe it enough, it will happen...if you have any doubt, you will not be healed....If you pray the healing scriptures enough times, you will be healed, etc. etc. etc. Sounds simple....but how scary. I know people who have been filled with 100 times more faith than I am, and yet they were not healed. Does this mean they were doubtful? And then, what exactly is doubt? If you think about being sick, are you being doubtful? If you're preparing yourselves or others for the worst, does this mean you're doubting the Lord's ability to heal? If I'm absolultely positively without any kind of doubt sure that I will be healed, I would not have a worry or care in the world with regard to my health, right? Such a wonderous concept of healing should not bring such stress on a person.

My pastor prayed not only for healing, but for peace. Because he said that we need to have faith, and we need to believe in healing, but ultimately do any of us actually know if we'll be healed? No. That's up to God to decide. We need to believe that we can be healed. We need to push ourselves into putting everything into God's hands, and Him to come into us and heal us. But we have no control over that. And doing everything medically and leaning on each other emotionally and supporting each other spiritually are all things we need to do. None of those things doubt our Lord. And ultimately, let's face it, we will be healed, living a glorious life in heaven.

I think I'm rambling now...probably making no sense. But the good thing is, I felt good after being prayed over. Hearing someone rebuke my illness just felt so right. I might not have fallen down on the ground, spun on my head and danced for joy that I had felt the Holy Spirit and, I was healed. But I did feel His healing touch...and I feel at peace.


James 14-15
Is anyone among you sick? He should call in the church elders. and they should pray over him, anointing him with oil in the Lord's name. And the prayer of faith will save him who is sick, and the Lord will restore him; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.


At 10:55 PM, Blogger Angela's Kitchen said...

I am so glad the headaches are subsiding. I and the kiddos will keep praying and believing in healing and for peace. We love you, hon!

At 2:11 AM, Blogger cg said...

I think it is that peace that brings the healing ....and then it does not really matter whether it ends up as physical healing or emotional healing for you and your family. We love you Cari!

At 7:09 AM, Blogger Jaye said...

Healing is not always instantaneous,it all depends on the circumstances, etc. But healing IS a promise of God, one that you can take to the bank, since God doesn't lie. I'm blessed that you got prayed for and that peace was one of the things asked. We pray for you daily and thank God for the things He has done and will continue to do for your life!

Old Testament:
Numbers 23:19
"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?"
Isaiah 53:5
"But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."
Jeremiah 30:17(a)
"For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD;"

New Testament reality (since O.T. has been fulfilled):
1 Peter 2:24
"Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed."
3 John 1:2
"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."

Love, hugs, and prayers!!

At 10:29 AM, Blogger wiferhood said...

I TOTALLY agree with Jaye. Besides, The Holy Spirit meets us where we are. I believe His presence manifests in a way the person can recieve it. Some people laugh, some people cry, some people have no reaction at all but that doesn't make His power of none effect.

His word is true and I believe that He has blessed you to receive the best medical care in MSP. Also, you are surrounded by friends and family who love you more than I am sure you can imagine.

At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Shannon Kopp said...

Hi Cari- I have posted pictures of the 3-day walk for you and Melvin to look at. If anyone else wants to see them they may do so. Here is the link:
Enjoy and I hope you find them even more inspiring for your fight against Breast Cancer.
Your walking friends Jeff and Shannon Kopp

At 2:19 PM, Blogger Caro said...

Your church sounds like it is filled with many wonderful people.


Post a Comment

<< Home