Fatigued

Usually Sunday is one of my better days. Today it didn't seem to be. I did get to church, but that was about it. I'm just so weak and lethargic. The thought of even walking anywhere to try to get some energy up just seems like too much work. I was reading about the Blood Brain Barrier procedure today with the computer on my lap and fell right to sleep like that.

All this weekend I find myself just drifting off in a daze a bit. I think the radiation is starting to have a negative effect on my cognition a bit. I only have 3 more days of the brain zapping, then a few more of the spine, and then I should be done with radiation. Woo hoo!

Right now I'm just so frustrated that I can't do the things I want to do or that people want me to do. Cameron had a birthday party to go to. I wanted to bring him and take Max and Ella some place fun while the party was going on. At the last minute I backed out and let my mom take them. I was just too tired. Today my friend Libby took the boys after church, and then Melvin took all the kids to hangout at an arcade/bowling place downtown where they like to go. I wanted to be there with them. I should be trying to have fun with them. I don't want them to remember me as being too sick to do anything with them.

At the prompting of my husband, when he had the kids out, my mom and I went to a movie. As long as I'm not too tired, or in pain, or dealing with stomach issues...then I can watch a movie. I like losing myself in the storyline, momentarily allowing myself to forget about all that's medically happening right now.

But movies are only temporary, and I gotta get a grip on all that's happening. Here's to a more energizing and uplifting day tomorrow!