Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Monday, September 29, 2008

At least I still have my hair...for the moment.

Radiation continues. I think I've completed 8 treatments. But the thing is, it's weird going through it, but not knowing if it's doing a darn thing, because nothing really feels different. Um, let me rephrase that. Things feel different, but they don't feel better. If the purpose of the radiation is to eradicate all cancer/left-over tumors, than it seems that the trouble that tumors may be causing would be easing up. But it doesn't feel that way at all.

The numbness and odd sensations along my tongue and now into my lower teeth continue to spread. I'm pretty good about not biting my tongue now, but it is always a concern. However, I'm not able to taste things very well, which isn't beneficial when trying to keep an appetite up. The other head/neck/back/ear etc. usual pain still continues. But the head pain is not so intense. BUT, is that because the cancer is going away, or because I'm still on the steroids that relieves the pressure. which is what finally relieved some pain last week.
I also have continued numbness and swelling in my right knee, feeling like there's water in there. It's actually causing me to limp a little. When I had my spinal tap, we thought this was a side effect of it. Not sure if this continued numbness and swelling is supposed to happen.

Mentally, it's been a bit strange. I feel a little foggy at times. Like I'll wander around and just not be able to get anything accomplished. I can't figure out what to do first. And I often go back and look at what I've typed in e-mails and it's not so comprehensible with word choice or spelling. I'm still not really good with times and schedules, and some of that is getting better, and in other ways is getting worse. Again, don't know if it's radiation/tumor/brain damage related.

Can you tell that I'm a bit unsettled.

I'm not meaning to be such a downer here. I'm really just writing out my symptoms and issues to go over with my radiation oncologist tomorrow.

But on a good note, when I'm distracted by the fun of my kids, I feel better. Tonight, except for a few usual Max and Ella fits, things went very well. When I made Cameron do extra reading for homework, he didn't even complain, and instead, read outloud his Pokemon chapter book to Ella. When she got tired of listening to him, she found her own books to look though, while Max and I worked on a couple reading lessons. Cameron also helped Max go outside and look for items that began with the letter A for an assignment Max has this week. All the kids joined me in making some muffins from scratch (yes, I said from scratch...that's what happens when I get around my baking friends for a weekend), and they actually did pretty well with taking turns. I was able to overlook any pain and just have fun with them.

Although, it was kinda hard not to get mad when I finally put them to bed and found 18 pee-filled pullups stacked up behind Max and Cameron's computer tower in their room. After lying about it first, Max finally admited to doing it...of course with a smile on his face! Their room has been smelling like pee for the past couple weeks, and I couldn't figure out why. Well, now I know!-------------------------------------
Matthew 8:23-26
And after He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him. And suddenly, behold, there arose a violent storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered up by the waves; but He was sleeping. And they sent and awakened Him, saying, Lord, rescue and preserve us! We are perishing! And He said to them, Why are you timed and afraid, O you of little faith? Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great and wonderful calm.

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At 9:10 AM, Blogger KC said...

what a cute shot of you and max, cari!

i hope they can figure out your symptoms soon.

At 2:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry things are going so hard with your recovery. I work in the healthcare arrea. Have you asked your Doctors if this numbness is part of the surgery to take tumor out. The brain is tricky and could this be some damage to brain and not fun to think about but may be perment. I also know nerves can take up to a year to heal once they are damaged. So i hope this will all get better in time. I so want you to be out of pain. I am praying for you. God Bless.

At 9:51 PM, Blogger Undomestic said...

My radiologist is at a loss for my continued symptoms. I'm scheduling another followup with my nuerologist as instructed. Hopefully she can shed some light that will innvolve more than just taking the Neurontin that doesn't seem to be working.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

I appreciate that are willing and want to share how you are feeling as you go through things. You are being real! I continue to pray...

Wow, the pullups!!! Great you found the source :)

At 7:47 PM, Blogger Angela's Kitchen said...

Oh, Max! You and your pull-ups!

Cari, I will keep praying that they figure out some answers for you SOON. Love you!

At 11:00 PM, Blogger mi said...

It must be so hard sometimes to dredge up the energy to do all the extra things you do with your kids. What a super mom you are! You have to know that even with their childish antics and exasperating moments, they will cherish that effort from you forever. I truly hope your doctors are able to resolve your pain soon.

The pullup story makes me laugh. Last week I found a HUGE pile of them behind the diaper genie. Logan only wears them at night, and I got spoiled because by the time I would get up, he had thrown his pullup in the genie and was wearing underwear. When I asked him why he put them all behind the genie, he said it was because it was full! It never occurred to him to tell me, or to just throw them in the trash. Eywww!!! I know...what kind of mom am I??


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