Sane moments...no more.

There’s one thing helping me keep my sanity when the following happens:

I’m on the phone trying to hear the joys of my friend’s new baby, and my son (can you guess which one?) is tossing his plate and strawberries all over the kitchen. Frustrated, I pick him up and put him in front of the TV, so I can actually listen to my friend in peace. But before I can get the Tubbies on the tube, the doorbell rings. I leave the room, phone in hand, Max on the couch and Ella on her playmat. Still on the phone, shuffling Cameron through the door, I hear Ella screaming. Not her usual I want some attention screaming, but a high-pitched-I’m-in-pain scream. When I rush into the family room, I find Max on the floor with a big grin on his face hitting Ella on the head over and over and over again. I excuse myself from the phone for a minute, throw him in front of the TV in my bedroom and run to console Ella, as Cameron is whining for some food because he’s “STARVING.” (said with a long drawn out whine).

Now my entire day does not consist entirely of moments like the above…they’re just sprinkled throughout.

On the same day, we all decide to go for a walk. Cameron, however, wants to ride his bike, so Max, also, wants to ride his “bike” (a plastic big wheel type vehicle). We get down a fairly long hill from our house and Cameron takes off along the trails…without ever looking back. I couldn’t chase him because I had Ella in the double stroller and Max on his bike. There are too many retaining ponds in our neighborhood “arboretum” to walk away from Max for even a moment (and he has no fear of running into streets). Eventually, Cameron made his way back to us, but Ella was tired of lying in the stroller, so she started screaming. Walking her didn’t help, so I went ahead and picked her up into one arm, and pushed the stroller with the other, while Max rode in front of me. But as soon as he turned around and saw that I was holding Ella, he got off his bike and ran to me, clinging to my legs, chanting “Uh peas! Uh peas!” (Up please). As I tried to ignore him, the chants became cries and screams. Usually, I can easily hold Ella in one arm and Max in the other. However, I could NOT hold both of them AND push the stroller, AND push Max’s bike up to the house. Max was not giving in, and I just stood there in a slight panic. I could see my house, but I just couldn’t physically get there. Eventually, Cameron came back around and crashed into the stroller. I convinced him to run Max’s bike back up to the house then come back down to retrieve his own bike. While he was doing that, I put Ella in the front seat of the stroller, and Max voluntarily crawled into the back seat. Ella quickly dozed off, but Max remained quite awake while I wheeled the stroller around looking for the cell phone I thought I had dropped.

The one thing that keeps me sane through all this is knowing that at 7 PM, Max will be in bed, and at 8 PM, Cameron will be snoozing and then Ella soon after that. There’s just an amazing peace that comes over our house during those evening hours when the kids are asleep and I can actually try to get a few things done (or get nothing done at all as I veg out in front of HGTV).

This is what USED to help me hold onto my sanity. I must emphasize the past tense because last night, I spent most of the evening returning Max to his room after he repeatedly leapt from his crib again, and again, and again, and again and again..until 10 PM, when I finally gave him another bottle and he finally succumbed to his fatigue.

I think the local loony bin already has my spot reserved.