I don't really mean it.

(Before reading this, please note, I have a wonderful husband, who would never hurt a hair on my head. I certainly wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea).

I should really watch my use of idioms around my 4 year old…especially my violent ones.

On occasion, I may let my sons do something my husband may not approve of. Nothing major, nothing too dangerous, just something that may involve a difference of opinion. It usually involves something that he’s right about, and something I should really not allow to happen, but based on the circumstance at the time, I let it happen.

“Don’t let them play with those toys in the doctor’s office. No one washes them.” Okay, that’s easy for him to say. . He’s not there with the kids who need a distraction (like a toy) to divert them from opening and emptying every drawer within their reach as we wait for the pediatrician to arrive.

“You shouldn’t let them crawl around on this floor. Do you know what falls on this floor?” That’s easy for him to say. He doesn’t have a toddler who is trying to push every blinking button on all the equipment as I’m connected to several of the machines and having contractions every couple minutes, while my husband finishes up at the clinic before he comes to the hospital.

Like I said, nothing major. But when I let my boys do something they shouldn’t do, they might hear me mumble something like, “Your father will kill me if he ever finds out I let you do this.” I never knew they were actually paying attention to me when I said this.

Yesterday I was utterly and completely exhausted. With little sleep the night before, no nap, and my husband on call, I was lucky that I made it to the evening without pulling out all my hair. While I was cleaning up in the kitchen, Cameron managed to put on Power Rangers. We let him watch too much TV, but we don’t allow the violent shows. And he knows this, but I was just too tired to even tell him to turn it. I didn’t feel like dealing with the whining anymore. I just wanted some peace. So I let him watch it. But I did say to him, “You know you shouldn’t be watching this. Just don’t tell your father, okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” he responded, his eyes glued to the TV. “Because then you’ll get killed.”