Max has surgery tomorrow. Just tubes in his ears...but surgery nonetheless....where he gets put to sleep and all. I know it's pretty routine, and I had it myself when I was 5, but it still makes me incredibly nervous.
There are several things I'm nervous about, but a couple of things in particular. One is that he can't eat anything after midnight. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get him to the hospital without having breakfast. Luckily we have to have him there at 6:45 AM, so I'm hoping we'll just pick him up out of his crib and place him directly in his carseat without interrupting his slumber. Oh yeah, but this is Max we're talking about. One thing I can definitely count on is him waking up. But maybe he'll be so sleepy he'll forget that he's hungry.
What I'm mostly nervous about is the pre-surgery part. They have to put an IV in him. How that's going to happen, I have no idea, because I can't even change his diaper without chasing him around the room, and they're going to want him still to put a needle in him??? And then they're also going to have to lie him down to put him to sleep. Max does not lie down unless he's in his crib...period.
When we take him to the hospital, because it's so early in the morning, Cameron and Ella will be with us. But at Children's Hospital, I was told that the parents can go to the surgery area while their child is being sedated. Now I have to decide who will go with Max and who will stay with the other kids. Part of me wants to go back with Max because..well, I'm his mother and I should be back there comforting him. But the other part of me wants to be far from the room where my child will be fighting and kicking and screaming. Plus, if I have to hold him down or something, oh my, will it scar him for life? His mother, who's supposed to protect him from harm, is allowing other people to jab sharp object into him? And furthermore, when he actually does fall asleep, I think I'll totally break down in tears.
Not going back would be cowardly, but I might be useless if I do go back. My husband's the doctor, he can handle it...right?