Supernanny Commentary

My nanny is very kind and agreeable. Her responses to my constant stupidity usually include something like, “That’s okay.” Or a pleasant “Oh, I don’t care.” Or just a smile and an “Oh no!”

But this I’m sure this isn’t how she really feels. I’m sure that in actuality what she’s really thinking is:

“Ugh. I folded these clothes and put the laundry basket in her room a week ago, and yet still they sit there not put away. Does this woman do anything on her own?”

“She is going to the store again? How much money can one person spend at Target each week?”

“I don’t know why she always complains about having trouble putting him to bed. He lays there just fine for me.”

“Um. I’ve been out of town for 5 days. Do you think this woman could do a load of the kids’ laundry for once in her spoiled life?”

“Really now. Look at those kids. Holes in their pants, Ella’s hair not even touched, peanut butter stuck all over their face. They look like they live on the street!”

“Is she giving in to him again? Really, how does she expect him to listen to her if she can’t handle a few minutes of screaming and gives in to her child’s whining demands?”

“Is she serious? She actually wants me to sit in this van? Does she see this food that has been strewn all over the floor for weeks now? Does she even smell the odor eminating from the sippy cups of milk stuck under the seats? I’m embarrassed even to open the door of this vehicle.”

And then today, after she left my house to meet her friend at the gym, I’m sure this is what she had to say:

“Oh my goodness. Today, I was her chauffer and had to pick her up from the church where she has her Thursday morning Bible study because she had her car in the shop about 5 minutes away. We travel about 25 minutes all the way up to her driveway, and she suddenly realizes at that moment that she left her garage door opener in her car at the dealership. Since she loses everything and can’t find her house key, the only way for her to get in the house is with the garage door opener. So we had to go all the way back where we just came from so we could gain access to the house. And then when we finally made it to the house, oh my, you should have seen what it looked like. Breakfast dishes with spilled cereal still out on the table, dinner dishes and food from last night in the sink and on the counter, the trash overflowing, papers everywhere, kids clothes thrown all over their roomss, a complete and total mess. Ridiculous. Just ridiculous.”

And yet, she still comes back. Thank goodness!