Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given theall clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metasticized to other areas.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Dear Cari

I miss you so much. Words cannot explain the loss that I feel without you. Just reading this now seems trivial compared to what I feel. I need you. I was told following your death that writing to you would make me feel better. You know what I said to that! I’m still the skeptic you married. Nevertheless, months after the suggestion, I find a strong urge to do this. It is now 5am and we just arrived in Orlando last night for the first time without you. I haven’t been able to sleep. I wish so much that you were here.

Our arrival was classic. You know how we used to say that the best part of our vacations here is walking out of the airport into “the Orlando Air”. Well our kids seem to agree. It was only about 50 degrees, but you might have thought it was 90 degrees listening to Cameron. He was so excited. He told Sara that he should have brought a tank top because he was sweating! Cameron also wanted to know, “How do they make it look so pretty?” Max exclaimed, “ l love the smell of the air”. Cameron agreed. Ella, as you know, usually comments on the “coconut trees”, but not this time. She was pretty quiet. I think the late flight wore her down.

The resort we’re staying at is great! It’s funny as I could imagine your thoughts as I took a look around. I know exactly what you would say about everything I saw. I just wish that I could actually hear you say it. The people are friendly. Despite our late arrival the kids have been surprisingly good. Sara claims that she saw an armadillo. No one else saw it. So for our whole walk to find a place to eat Cameron was teasing Max (who you know was deathly afraid) about seeing the armadillo. All three of the resort restaurants were closed so after walking the kids back to the room, we ended up ordering Carryout from Wendys.

It wasn’t a bad night. Love you. Melvin